Most popular jokes

Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November?
A: Bomb fire night.

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Terrorist jokes

A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.

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Redhead Jokes Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes Redneck jokes Stupid Jokes

A major network is planning the show "Survivor" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gаy, I voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Military Jokes

I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.

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Office and Work Jokes Communication Jokes

My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry.
So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.

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Friendship Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes

A man and wife were making love. When they saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away.
Mom said "You better fix this now."
The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he heard a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma.
The dad screamed "What the fuск."
The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?
"No," said the little boy... "It's a puppy!"

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School Jokes

Your mommas so fат when criminals break out of jail they hide behind her.

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Yo Momma Jokes Prison Jokes

Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.

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Sailor Jokes Pirate Jokes

Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's.
What a clown!

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Management Jokes Communication Jokes Boss Jokes

If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

A man comes home alone from work.
Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas."
He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok!
He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas.
The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!"
He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black!
He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus"
21 RED!
And then the voice goes "Dамn!"

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? "
Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."

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Parent Jokes

Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years"
Herman: "Hmm. I killed a man, and I'm here for 3 days"
George: "*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you кill a man and get 3 days???"
Herman: "Yeah, it was a lawyer."

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Lawyer Jokes Banker Jokes

Q: What did the clock do when it was hungry?
A: It went back four seconds.

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Food Jokes

Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference.
Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius."
Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!"
Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..."
Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."

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Russian Jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Phone jokes

A builder was once building a fence to surround a farmer's sheep.
The builder finished, and the farmer was ready to pay.
The builder then came up to the farmer and said: "Sir, I hope this isn't too a-fenc-ive.

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Farmer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Communication Jokes

I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.

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Men vs Women Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes Polish jokes

I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game.
This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball".
So I adjusted my stance and took another swing.
Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball."
So I stepped back a little more and swung.
This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hеll are you talking about!
The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".

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Golf jokes Communication Jokes

Most Popular Jokes