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Latest Jokes

A man 80 years of age married a young lady. A year later he carried her to the hospital, and she had a baby. The nurse said to the man:
- ”At your age, how do you do that?”
The man answered, “You just have to keep the motor running.”
Another year passes, and the man carries her back to the hospital, another baby. The same nurses said to the man and asked: ‘You are something else, how do you do that?”
He said,”I told you that you just have to keep the motor running”. Another year and back tot he hospital for another baby. The same nurse said:
- ”You are unbelievable, how do you do that?!”
He said:
- ”You go to keep that motor running.”
She answered:
- ”Well, you better change oil, because this one came out black.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Cheating Jokes Nurse jokes

I’ve recently joined my local boxing club and the trainer there suggested that I tried skipping to get fitter.
After doing this for an hour, he handed me a rope and said, “Use this. You won’t look as gаy”

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Fitness jokes

I've been in love with the same woman for 20 years. If my wife finds out, she'll кill me.

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

Why do only 9/10 dentists recommend Crest toothpaste?
The last dentist is busy killing a lion

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Dentist Jokes

Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before?
Passenger: No, I have not.
Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping.
Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help?
Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears.

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Office and Work Jokes Aviation Jokes Pilot Jokes

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Friendship Jokes

A sреrм donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar Walked into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.

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Bar and Bartender Jokes

Me: I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework
Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?
**Awkward silence**
Me: It took him a couple bytes

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Science jokes Dog jokes

Politicians should be limited to two terms. One in office and one in prison

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Office and Work Jokes Political Jokes

News: A 14-year-old girl with an allergy had to go to hospital after a kiss from a boyfriend had traces of nuts on his lips.
Not the best way to find out your guy is gаy, one would assume.

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News and Politics Jokes Masturbation jokes

Gаys are very sociable types.
They like to widen the circle of their friends.

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Friendship Jokes

Most of you girls should be housewives for Halloween. You've been hoes all year.

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Dirty jokes Halloween Jokes

Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes

The Irish reckon they’ve solved their energy problem, they imported 100 million tons of sand from Saudi Arabia, and are going to drill for their own oil..

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Irish jokes

I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.
Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click.
"Great," he thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits.
And this one's even better because it locks..."

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Business jokes Friendship Jokes

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.
A $40 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.
The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.

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Police Officer Jokes

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny воnе.

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Sports Jokes Military Jokes

What do you call an African American documentary?
Planet of the Apes.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes American Jokes

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?
Because he has no Seoul.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

How do you know a blonde has a bad day? she's playing a pencil and she cant find her recorder!

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes