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Раddy was walking through a town one day when he saw a shop with a notice in the window. The notice said “We sell everything”. Раddy could not believe this so he went inside. He walked to the counter and asked the salesperson, “Do you really sell everything?” The salesperson said “Yes, everything”.
Thinking this was too good to be true Раddy said “OK then could I have a jumper for a chicken?”. The salesperson said “A jumper for a chicken?, hold on I will have to check the stock out the back”. Five minutes later, the salesperson returned with a brown paper bag. “Here you go, one jumper for a chicken”
“How much?” asked Раddy.
“Three quid.” replied the salesperson.
“Three quid for a jumper for a chicken - excellent.” said Раddy. So away he went as happy as larry. When he got outside he thought to himself that maybe he was done, so he looked inside the bag. At the bottom of the bag was a соndом.
He was mad and stormed back into the shop. He screamed at the sales person “Hey, I asked you for a jumper for a chicken and you have given me a соndом - what’s going on?”
The salesperson replied, “Sorry mate, I checked in the back and we seem to be all out of jumpers for chickens, all we had was a pullover for a соск.”
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The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”
“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”
The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U. S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U. S. President is going to call me!”
“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly rареd.”
Then she says,
"I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
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Vad säger den judiske pedofilen för något? Finns det några barn som skulle vilja köpa lite godis? - Что сказал еврей-педофил маленькой девочке? - Ты купишь мне конфетку? - Τί λέει ένας Εβραίος παιδεραστής σε ένα πιτσιρίκι; - Αγοράκι θα μου αγοράσεις ένα γλειφιτζούρι; Har du hørt om den pedofile jøden som traff to smågutter? - Vil dere kjøpe litt godteri...? Židovský pedofil potká v parku malou holčičku a povídá jí: "Holčičko, nechceš si koupit bonbón?" Was sagt ein pädophiler Jude zu einem kleinen Jungen? Möchtest du ein Bonbon………. Kaufen?
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The president of Mexico back, in the 80’s, locked in the entire senate one good day.
“No one leaves till we have a solution to our crumbling economy!!”
3 days they discussed plans, but to no avail.
Finally, on day 4, one congressmen stands up and excitedly announces he has a plan!!!
“We’ll declare war on the USA.” he announced
“WHY would we want to do THAT?” asked the shocked president.
“Well,” explained the young man, “then they’ll invade us and we will become THEIR problem. We”ll be added to their welfare, the food stamps, the unemployment…see????”
The room exploded with men and women agreeing with the plan, but the President looked unconvinced…
“What is wrong with the plan?” asked the Vice president
“Well… it is all fine and good… but what happens if we win??
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