if (!string.IsNullOrEmpty(Model.PrevPageFullUrl)) { } if (!string.IsNullOrEmpty(Model.NextPageFullUrl)) { } Newest jokes - Page 294

Latest Jokes

A sеxy girl looks at the big вееr belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg?
There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?

35 0

Men jokes Sex Jokes Beer Jokes

The United States Army will be making a new movie...
They'll be shooting in Iraq!

35 0

Military Jokes Political Jokes

A guy went to a casino and lost all 10 000$.
Swearing for the situation he goes to a taxi driver and asks:
I have lost all my money, please give me a ride back home for free.
Fuck off, no money, no ride.
The next day the guys come to casino again and this time he successfully won all the money back and 10 000$ extra.
Hi goes out of the casino happily and sees five taxis, and the last car is the one, which refused to give a ride for free yesterday.
He goes to the first taxi and says:
Will you take me home for 100$
Sure!
But when you take me there you'll have to do the вlоw-job as well
Fuck off, man..
The guys goes to all next three cars and the story repeats.
Finally he goes to the last taxi driver, who refused to help a day ago, and says:
Will you take me home for 100$?
Sure!
Deal, but you have to pass through those other four taxi drivers very, very slowly.

36 0

Money jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Are shellfish warm?
No they re clammy.

33 0

Animal Jokes

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

33 0

Animal Jokes

Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper.

36 0

Animal Jokes

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

22 0

Dirty jokes Men jokes

You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.

36 0

Old People Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."

73 0

Office and Work Jokes Relationship Jokes

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey.
"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"
"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."

37 0

Sports Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.

36 0

Hipster Jokes

Put a "Please Use Other Door" sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.

35 0

Office and Work Jokes April Fools' Jokes

Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court?
A: For charges of battery.

37 0

Prison Jokes Life Jokes

Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?"
Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"

36 0

Stupid Jokes Weather jokes

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."

36 0

Sports Jokes Golf jokes

Q: How do you find how many fат people are in America?
A: Throw a cookie into the street.

33 0

Food Jokes USA Jokes Fat Jokes

Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence."
Me: "You mean... the period?"
Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."

72 0

Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A: Because he was squatting.

33 0

Fitness jokes

Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor.
The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit.
Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor.
This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit."
After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth.
Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?"
"It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."

36 0

Life Jokes

A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked.
"First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged.
The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…"
"Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"

34 0

Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Old People Jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes Birthday Jokes