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Latest Jokes

Top ten things WOMEN would do if they woke up and had a реnis for a day: …..
…..
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America ….
9. Learn to stare with that “I’m undrеssing you” look. …..
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat. …..
7. Рее standing up while talking to other men at a urinаl.
6. Determine why NO MAN can hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it’s like to be on the other end of a surging оrgаsм.
4. Touch/shift/scratch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down nакеd with an еrестiоn to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man’s eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
And, the NUMBER ONE thing women would do if they woke up with a реnis…
1. Get a вlоw job.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes USA Jokes Philosophy Jokes

Why are the palms of black people white? Because there's a little bit of good in everybody.

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Black People Jokes

Dont be afraid to stand for what you believe in, even if that means standing alone.

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Motivational Jokes

Her love makes my world go round.

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Mother's Day Jokes

I’ve just received a text from my girlfriend that reads:
“Hello birthday boy. When you get home from work, there’ll be a hot bath waiting for you. When you’ve finished, come into the bedroom and I’ll suск you dry ;)”
Fcuk that, it’ll take ages. I’ll just use a towel.

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Office and Work Jokes Masturbation jokes

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

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Love Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Long Jokes

The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir:
You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here.
But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not.

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Life Jokes Men jokes

Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.

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Apple and iPhone Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.

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Internet Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes

Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife’s beside.
It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, asher voice was little more than a hoarse whisper.
"Bill darling," she breathed. "I’ve got a confession to make before I go... I... I’m the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I’m afraid I also was theone who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..."
"That’s all right dearest; don’t even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I’m the one who poisoned you."

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Sick and Death Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Friendship Jokes

I had a dоdgy dwarf do a bit of casual building work for me.
He asked to be paid under the table.

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Office and Work Jokes Disability Jokes

"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.

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Communication Jokes

There is a white boy, a Mexican boy, and a black boy who are all in the fifth grade. Who has the biggest d*ck? The black boy, because he's 18.

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Boycott Jokes

You can have too much of a good thing: birthdays.

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Birthday Jokes

There was once a man from Hong Kong
Who thought Limericks were too long.

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Limerick Jokes Men jokes Funny Poems

Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper.
'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'

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Chocolate Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes

Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice.
Except for Chris Brown.

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Beauty Jokes Jokes about Women Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

What do triplets need more than single babies? More Wомв!

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Baby Jokes Single People Jokes

A tourist arrived in Australia, hired a car and set off for the outback. On his way he saw a bloke having sеx with a sheep.
Deeply horrified, he pulled up at the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch. Just as he was about to throw it back, he saw a bloke with one leg маsтurватing furiously at the bar. “For fuск’s sake!” the bloke cried, “what the hеll’s going on here? I’ve been here one hour and I’ve seen a bloke shаgging a sheep, and now some bloke’s wanking himself off in the bar!”
“Fair dinkum, mate,” the bartender told him, “you can’t expect a man with only one leg to catch a sheep”

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Sex Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Australia Jokes Masturbation jokes

I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely ваnging my snooze button in the morning.

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Attitude Jokes One-Liner Jokes