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As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.
He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.
He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die.
At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me."
All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside.
While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows.
Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this.
The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one.
I only put $20,000 in the coffin."
The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either.
Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient.
I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that."
The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge.
The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal.
When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top.
How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed.
"You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in the first quarter."
The official just stared.
The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game.
"What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!"
The official stared a few more seconds.
Then he веnт down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down.
He turned to face the steaming quarterback.
The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"
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