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Latest Jokes

A male driver gets stopped by police, and is asked:
"Have you been drinking?"
The man replies:
"Okay, yes, I have... how did you know officer? Was I swerving across the road, or speeding?"
"No sir," replied the policeman, "...nothing else can explain that fат ugly woman sitting next to you."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Police Officer Jokes Fat Jokes

Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying.
A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
“Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman.
Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing.
In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again.
At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves.”
The policeman looks at the old man and says, “You shouldn’t be crying!
You should be the happiest man in the world!”
So the old man says, “I know!
I’m crying because I don’t remember where I live!”

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture.
"What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed.
"What painter?"
"The one that painted this picture 'Soldiers at Work'."
"Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!"
"That is just the greatest sтrоке of realism in the picture!"

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Office and Work Jokes Military Jokes

Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Military Jokes

Q: How do you know your black neighbor has moved?
A: The new neighbor has car insurance.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes Insurance Comedy

Q: If a black guy is driving a bicycle why shouldn't I hit him?
A: Because it's probably my bicycle.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

My mom told me drugs are my enemies… but Jesus said to love your enemies

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Drug Jokes Love Jokes

Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lеsвiаns who are suffering from depression? Its called Trycoxagain.

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Drug Jokes

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

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School Jokes One-Liner Jokes

My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a реdо, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

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Waiter Jokes Restaurant Jokes

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

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Waiter Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Thanks to Facebook I know what everyones bathroom looks like.

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Facebook Jokes One-Liner Jokes

When I die I want my best friend to change my facebook status to "chillin with Jesus"

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Facebook Jokes One-Liner Jokes Friendship Jokes

I wouldn’t say Harry was mean, but last Christmas Eve he fired a pistol in the garden and told the kids Santa had committed suicide.

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Money jokes Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes

What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing:
"All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."

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Animal Jokes Christmas Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

Two men were talking:
First :
"Can U put the word 'реnis' in a sentence?"
Second:
"Yo mama's рussy."

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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

If your buddy says that he ran over a сооn with this truck on the way over and you think good that's one less black person in the world, you might be a redneck.

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Redneck jokes

I’m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for роrn.

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Funny Quotes

When told the reason for daylight savings time the Old Indian said, “Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket.”

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Funny Quotes Cowboys and Indians Jokes