Dark Humor Jokes

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What was the last thing that went through sallys mind before she got hit by the bus. Ohhh look a bus

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Republicans are red, Democrats are blue,
Neither one of them,
Gives a fuск about you!

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A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was:
“She was just lying there nакеd on the table, what was I supposed to do?”
The wife reply’s:
“Perform the fuскing autopsy!”

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What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

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When does a реdорhilе go to sleep?
When the big hand touches the small one.

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Where did OP go in the explosion?
Everywhere.

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How do Asians name their babies?
They throw a can down the stairs.

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What was the last thing her husband said to her?
I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.

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What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
I didn't catch it, I was too busy маsтurватing.

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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said:
"What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa comes down the chimney.

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Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!

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What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar?
A jar of mayonnaise.

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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
- Because black people have no rights..

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Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman:
"Have you got a little brain?"
The saleswoman has said:
"Yes, we have."
Johny has asked her:
"And is the little brain still fresh?"
The saleswoman has said:
"Yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."

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What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.

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What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow.
He said he can't walk.

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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.

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I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.

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