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Dark Humor Jokes

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How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His drill slipped
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Wie wird eine Zahnarzt zum Gehirnchirurgen? Как стоматолог може да стане мозъчен хирург?
Dark Humor Jokes Dentist Jokes
Meat shop
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Dark Humor Jokes
A message for the kidnappers of my mother-in-law:
“Pshah! The pinkie is insufficient as proof! I need more evidence!”
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Dark Humor Jokes
“Mommy, there’s something wrong with the bunny…”
“Shush, child, please leave the oven door closed.”
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- Мамо, зайчето май нещо не е добре
Dark Humor Jokes
A nurse says to a new father, “Your baby is very pretty.”
The father looks pleased, “Really? Come on, don’t you say this to everybody?”
The nurse shakes her head, “No, of course not.”
The father wonders, “So what do you say if the baby’s ugly?”
The nurse smiles, “Then I say the baby really takes after its father.”
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Dark Humor Jokes Nurse jokes
At a first date:
He: “I work with animals every day!”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”
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Dark Humor Jokes
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
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Разбираш, че си грозен, ако всеки път те карат да държиш камерата на груповите снимки
Dark Humor Jokes Life Jokes Ugly Jokes
I took away my ex-girlfriend’s wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back to me?
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Dark Humor Jokes
“You da bomb!”
“No, you da bomb!”
In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.
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Dark Humor Jokes USA Jokes
What do you give an armless child for Christmas?
Nothing, he wouldn’t be able to open it anyways.
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Dark Humor Jokes
On a train:
“Madam, could you please tell your son to stop imitating me, it’s very annoying!”
“I’m so sorry… Harry! Stop acting sтuрid!”
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- Госпожо, моля Ви! Контролирайте детето си! Непрекъснато ме имитира! Две майки се разхождат с дъщерите си. Едната майка казва на другата: Dos madres hablando: Fritzchen äfft jede Bewegung nach, die der alte Mann im Wartezimmer des Arztes macht. Das regt den alten Mann auf und er wendet sich verärgert der Mutter des Jungen zu und beschwert sich: On a beach a man shouts at another man: - Tell your son not to imitate me. A man to his son: - Son, stop playing the fool. A vizinha reclama para a mãe de Joãozinho: — Seu filho passa o dia inteiro me imitando! E a mãe do Joãozinho, virando-se para ele: — O que é isso, meu filho? Pare de bancar o idiota! Im Zug: Könnten Sie Ihrem Sohn bitte sagen, er soll aufhören, mich zu imitieren. Fritzchen, hör bitte auf so dämlich zu tun. W piaskownicy: - Czy może pani powiedzieć synowi, żeby mnie nie udawał? - Jasiu, przestań robić z siebie idiotę. O vizinho chega para mãe do Toninho e reclama: — Quer fazer o favor de pedir pro seu filho parar de me imitar. E a mãe: — Toninho, quer parar de bancar o idiota? Imitar Estan dos madres y una le dice a la otra: Escucha, dile a tu hijo que me deje de imitar. ¡ Niño! ¡Deja de hacerte el idiota!
Dark Humor Jokes
Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
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Dark Humor Jokes
Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can sтriр all flesh off a man within 15 minutes.
Unfortunately, I also lost my job at the local swimming pool.
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Вчера разбрах, че 20 пирани оглозгват труп за около 15 минути, но за съжаление, загубих работата си в плувния басейн - Вчера я выяснил, что 20 пираний могут полностью обглодать человека за 15 минут. И еще я потерял работу в бассейне... - Вчора я дізнався, що 20 рибок-піраній можуть обгризти людину до кісток за 15 хвилин. На жаль, через це я втратив роботу в плавальному басейні.
Dark Humor Jokes
What is written on a dentist’s grave?
He’s filling his last cavity.
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Какво пише на гроба на стоматолог? Wat staat er op het graf van een tandarts? .... Hier is z'n laatste gat gevuld!
Dark Humor Jokes One-Liner Jokes Dentist Jokes
I ran into my ex in town yesterday. Then I ran over him and backed up to run into him again.
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Dark Humor Jokes
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?
A slow swimmer.
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Как се нарича меката тъкан между зъбите на голяма бяла акула?
Dark Humor Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A cannibal is invited to a teambuilding week in the mountains. The instructions say he can also bring one friend. But when he arrives, he brings ten people. The organizer is shocked:
“Come on Alan, what the heck, the invitation said you can only bring one person!”
"Yeah, but it also said bring your own food, didn’t it?!”
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Dark Humor Jokes
I have one thing to say to the invalid who stole my camouflage army jacket: You can hide, bro, but you can't run.
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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Military Jokes
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”.
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
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Сине, трябва да ти го кажем - ти си осиновен. Vater zum Sohn: "Kind, wir müssen reden! Wie soll ich sagen? Du bist adoptiert!" Sohn erschrocken: "Was?! Ich möchte sofort zu meinen echten Eltern!" Darauf der Vater trocken: "Kind, wir sind... Der Vater sagt zum Sohn: Sohn, ich muss dir was sagen. Du wurdest adoptiert. Sagt der Sohn: WAS! Ich will sofort meine echten Eltern kennenlernen. Darauf der Vater: Wir sind deine echten...
Dark Humor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes
Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?
- And more importantly, where is my hamster?
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- Странно, защо пералнята спря да изпомпва водата?!
Dark Humor Jokes
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