Food Jokes

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I’d like to leave you ladies and gentlemen with this frightening fact: I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year. I’m not sure about you people, but I think we’re being overcharged on groceries.

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Money jokes Food Jokes Stupid Jokes

My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge.
But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.

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Food Jokes Turkey Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes

Does running out of a burning barn make a соw unusual?
No, only medium rare.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

A teacher walks into her classroom and turns to the children and says, Today kids im going to ask you what job your daddy has!
She turns to the first child and says, What job dose your daddy have tina??
She replies; he is a carpenter miss.
The teacher turns to the next child and repeats the question... The child says he is the head of a multi-organic food chain.
Very good indeed says miss.......... She turns to the next child and says.
What job does your daddy have Robert??
He replies... He's a male рrоsтiтuте miss; and demands 50 quid.
No,No,No your lying to me Robert i can tell!
Ok then miss you got me i confess.........................................
He plays rugby for england but im to ashamed to say!!!

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Sports Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes School Jokes

Two old timers were talking after church one day and the one asks the other, "So tell me brother, what did you think of the soul food this morning?" The other replies,
"The food was excellent but the service suскеd!"

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Religion jokes Food Jokes

What is Jared Fogle's favorite item on the prison food menu?
Cheese pizza

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Food Jokes Cheese jokes

Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

The president of Mexico back, in the 80’s, locked in the entire senate one good day.
“No one leaves till we have a solution to our crumbling economy!!”
3 days they discussed plans, but to no avail.
Finally, on day 4, one congressmen stands up and excitedly announces he has a plan!!!
“We’ll declare war on the USA.” he announced
“WHY would we want to do THAT?” asked the shocked president.
“Well,” explained the young man, “then they’ll invade us and we will become THEIR problem. We”ll be added to their welfare, the food stamps, the unemployment…see????”
The room exploded with men and women agreeing with the plan, but the President looked unconvinced…
“What is wrong with the plan?” asked the Vice president
“Well… it is all fine and good… but what happens if we win??

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Jokes about Women Food Jokes Men jokes USA Jokes Military Jokes Political Jokes

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.

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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes

Why did the horses kept saying orange juice?
Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

I was at a restaurant that serves traditional Spanish food. I was shocked to see that they serve clamari, and with the squid's ink!
No one expects the Spanish ink cuisine!

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Food Jokes Spanish jokes Restaurant Jokes

Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The Food!

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School Jokes Food Jokes

Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

What is a Russian's favorite Canadian food?
Vladimir Poutine!

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Food Jokes Canadian jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook?
She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

Here is an exchange between a mother and son in a Section 8 household. (There are never any father - son exchanges in a Section 8 household because the fathers have long since disappeared.)
…
“Momma, what be ‘Socialism’?”
…
“Well, son, Socialism is when white folks go to work every day so we can get all our benefits, like free cell phones for each family member, rent subsidy, food stamps, EMC, free healthcare, utility subsidy, free computers and Internet connection, free food, free clothing, free gifts at Christmas, and on and on.
…
That be Socialism”.
…
“But Mama, don’t the white people get upset about that?”
…
“Sure they do son; that be called Racism!”

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Christmas Jokes Political Jokes Internet Jokes

Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said "Louieville" and the other "Louiseville." They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant. The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, "Tell me the name of the place where I am right now really, really, really slowly." The waitress goes, "Bur-ger-King."

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Food Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year
Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market

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Food Jokes