Food Jokes

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I'm on a seafood diet.
When I see food, I eat it.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

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Yo momma's so sтuрid, she ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald's and said, "Hold the cheese. "

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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Stupid Jokes

Yo momma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Old People Jokes

Yo momma's so fат, that when she goes out to a restaurant, she looks at the menu and says, "sounds good. "

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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Fat Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Yo momma's so fат, she only knows 3 letters of the alphabet: KFC.

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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Fat Jokes

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said:
"Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screamed to her brother,:
"Don't eat it. Its an аsshоlе!

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

A boy asks his father:
"Dad, are bugs good to eat?"
"That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks,
"Now, son, what did you want to ask me?"
"Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Dad Jokes

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

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School Jokes Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A boy is selling fish on a corne r. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!"
A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'"
The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam."
The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds:
"That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fuскing potatoes!"

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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

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What's Mexicos National sport?
Cross Country.

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Mexican jokes Sports Jokes Nationality Jokes Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him:
"If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"
Johnny says, "None."
The teacher asks, "Why?"
Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off."
The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking."
Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is suскing her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one suскing her ice cream."
Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

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Sex Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fат соw give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Student jokes Fat Jokes

– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her gummy bears.

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes

What did the blanket say to the bed?
No fears, I've got you covered!

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What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.

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What’s the difference between spinach and boogers?
Kids don’t eat spinach.

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My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

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A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top:
"Oh no, I look like a pig!"
The man nods:
"And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

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