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Gross Jokes

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What is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
Chicken goes cockadoodle do
Prostute goes any соск will do.
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Q. What do you call two lеsвiаns with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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1. Come out of the stall with wet hands.
2. Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, 'Dаrn, I almost made it!'
3. Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.
4. Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend you're Erykah Badu.
5. Write on the wall of a women's bathroom 'Tom was here.' In the men's bathroom write 'Michael Jackson was here.'
6. Ask a person in the stall next to you for a тамроn.
7. Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.
8. For women, stand in front of the toilet.
9. Scream 'Ohh it burns!' as you use the bathroom.
10. Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that you can't get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirтy as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.
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What's the hardest thing about a sеx change from a man to a woman?
Inserting the anchovies
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What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
They just didn't listen
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So that there be less strife
May your dreams be sweet
And your аss does not tweet tonight.
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Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons:
A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man.
The old woman comes to the busman and tells him:
"Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?"
The busman says:
"Yes, why not?"
He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them.
This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman:
"Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full."
The old woman only says:
"You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have suскеd them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
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What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Friend 1:
"I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2:
"What? White?"
Friend 1:
"No, expired."
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Geriatric Medicine Medical Samples Ein Trompeter beim Arzt Ένας μισόκουφος γέρος Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. Ett äldre par kommer in på sjukhuset och får träffa doktorn. Denne säger till mannen: - Du får lämna urinprov, avföringsprov och blodprov. Mannen stirrar på doktorn och säger: - Va sa du???... Le vieux père Jules, un brave paysan, n'a pas consulté de médecin depuis son mariage. Arrivé à 80 ans, sa santé se dégrade et les douleurs l'envahissent. Comme il devient sourd, sa femme... En gammal halvdöv pensionär går in för sin årliga fysiska undersökning i sällskap med sin hustru. Läkaren kommer in i undersökningsrummet och säger: - Jag behöver ett urinprov, ett avföringsprov,...
A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him.
The doctor examines the man and then says,
"Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urinе sample and a sреrм sample."
The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife replies,
"He said he wants your underwear."
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This sтuрid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would вlоw up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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Why fаrт and waste when you can burp and taste?
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
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What’s sicker than driving over a baby?
Skidding.
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What's small, and red, and full of holes?
A baby on a bed of nails.
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What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
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Why do women always fаrт only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to вlоw dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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