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Holiday Jokes

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Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
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One-Liner Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Holiday Jokes
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
A: TWERKY!
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Christmas Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Holiday Jokes
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
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Halloween Jokes Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Holiday Jokes Pirate Jokes
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.
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Dark Humor Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
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Christmas Jokes Sex Jokes Holiday Jokes
Yo momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
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Office and Work Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Holiday Jokes
On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a ваsтаrd and hears his dad call his mom a вiтсh. He asks, "Mommy, what does ваsтаrd mean?" She answers, "Um, it means boy." Then he asks, "Daddy, what does вiтсh mean?" He says, "Uh, it means girl." Later that day, the boy sees his father in the bathroom shaving; the dad accidentally cuts himself and says, "Sh*t." The son asks, "What does that mean?" The dad says, "It means shaving cream." Then he sees his mom in the kitchen carving the turkey; she accidentally cuts herself and says, "F*ck." The son asks her what that word means and she says, "It means carving." That evening, the family's guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. The son opens the door to welcome them and says, "Welcome вiтсhеs and ваsтаrds! My dad is in the bathroom rubbing sh*t on his face and my mom is in the kitchen f*cking the turkey."
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Dad Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Holiday Jokes
Малко момченце пише писмо до Дядо Коледа: Дете: Желба A little boy wrote to Santa ... Α letter to santa Claus Un bambino a babbo natale: Малко момченце писало на Дядо Коледа: "Изпрати ми сестричка!". Маленький хлопчик написав Діду Морозу: Dziecko do świętego Mikołaja: - Przyślij mi na święta braciszka. Święty Mikołaj do dziecka: - To przyślij mi przed świętami swoją mamusię. Un enfant écrit au Père Noël : - Cher Père Noël, pour Noël, mon voeu le plus cher serait d'avoir une petite soeur. Réponse du Père Noël : - Pas de problème, envoie-moi ta mère! En gang skrev en lille dreng til julemanden ”Gider du være sød og give mig en lillesøster?”. Så skrev julemanden tilbage ”Okay, lån mig lige din mor” Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother." Bambino: “Caro Babbo Natale, come regalo quest’anno mandami un fratellino”. Babbo Natale: “Caro bambino, mandami tua madre”. Bulişor îi scrie lui Moş Crăciun: - Anul asta, să-mi trimiţi un frăţior! De Crăciun, Bulişor nu primeşte nimic. Supărat, îi scrie din nou lui Moş Crăciun: - De ce nu mi-ai trimis frăţiorul? Anul... Bula, la 5 ani ii trimite scrisoare mosului de Craciun: ,,Draga Mosule, vreau sa am un fratior mai mic'' Mosul o citeste, si ii trimite lui Bula o alta scrisoare: ,,Atunci trimite-mi-o pe mamica ta!'' Un copilas ii scrie lui Mos Craciun: - Trimite-mi un fratior Mos Craciun raspunde: - Trimite-mi-o mai intaii pe mata. Pepíček píše Ježíškovi „Pošli mi sestřičku“. On odpovídá „Tak mi pošli maminku.“ Toto écrit au Père Noël : - «Cher Pere Noel, Cette année, ce que je voudrais, c'est une petite soeur. Toto» Il reçoit une réponse quelques jours plus tard : - «Cher Toto, Pas de problèmes,... Му пишало некое дете на Дедо Мраз „Дедо Мраз те молам прати ми сестричка". Дедо Мраз му пишал "Ок, прати ја мајка ти"
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says:
"Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas."
Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
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Christmas Jokes Kids Jokes Holiday Jokes
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fат guy in the suit gets all the credit.
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Christmas Jokes Office and Work Jokes Fat Jokes Holiday Jokes
It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?"
"Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"
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Christmas Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Holiday Jokes
Майката: - А сега миличко си намисли някакво коледно желание! - Иска ми се Дядо Коледа да донесе дрехи на всички тия бедни, голи какички, дето са в компютъра на тати Une petite fille est entrain de prier : - Cher dieu, s'il vous plaît, envoyez des vêtements à ces pauvres femmes sur l'ordinateur de mon papa.
Mother:
"Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl:
"I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those nакеd girls in papa's computer."
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Christmas Jokes Technology Jokes Sex Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
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School Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
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Sports Jokes Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it's Halloween.
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Halloween Jokes One-Liner Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Holiday Jokes
Защо Дядо Мраз е винаги весел? Основната причина Дядо Коледа винаги да е толкова весел е, Санта такой веселый в основном потому, что знает, где живут все плохие девочки. I would like to be Santa Claus … …. He knows where all the naughty girls live. Dlaczego Mikołaj jest zawsze uśmiechnięty? Jako jedyny zna adresy wszystkich grzesznych dziewczynek... Чому Дід Мороз завжди щасливий? — Тому що він знає, де живуть погані дівчатка. Waarom is het zo dat Sinterklaas altijd blij is? Hij weet waar de stoutste jongetjes en meisjes wonen. Miksi joulupukki vaikuttaa niin epäilyttävän tyytyväiseltä? Koska hän tietää missä tuhmat tytöt asuvat. Ved du hvorfor julemanden får så meget sex ? Fordi han ved hvor alle de uartige piger bor! - De ce e Mos Craciun mereu fericit? - Pentru ca stie unde stau fetitele rele... - Kodėl Kalėdų Senelis ištisus metus laimingas? - Todėl, kad žino kur gyvena blogos mergaitės.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
A: Their bats flew away.
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Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Holiday Jokes
Víš, proč chce kuře přejít silnici? Ne? No, aby se dostalo na druhou stranu.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side!
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Animal Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Science jokes Fat Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's sсrеwing a chicken.
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God Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Easter Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
A: They go to town and вlоw a couple of bucks.
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes
Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, when she heard that Christmas was around the corner, she went looking for it.
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Yo Momma Jokes Christmas Jokes Stupid Jokes Holiday Jokes
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