Poems jokes, Funny Poems

It can buy a House.
But not a Home
It can buy a Bed
But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock
But not Time
It can buy you a Book
But not Knowledge
It can buy you a Position
But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine
But not Health
It can buy you Blood
But not Life
So you see, Money isn't everything.
And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering...
So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.
A more true Friend you will never find.

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If you have a grief nobody feels.
If you have a pain nobody feels.
If your heart is broken nobody feels, but if you fаrт all will understand.

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Gross Jokes Funny Poems Fart Jokes

Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.

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Insult Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Funny Poems Ugly Jokes Zoo Jokes

Grass is green,
trees are greener.
When I think of you,
I play with my wiener.

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Masturbation jokes Dirty jokes Funny Poems

Roses are red
violets are blue
I have 5 fingers
the middle one for you.

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Funny Poems Pick-Up Lines Jokes Insult Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.

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Funny Poems Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes

To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland":
Dog tags ring, are you listening'?
In the lane, snow is glistening.
It's yellow, not white - I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I рее, it's my property.
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man,
So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fence post,
flows my natural incense boast,
"Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth,
I mark it as my winter wonderland."

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Funny Poems Dad Jokes

Birdie, birdie, in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye,I'm a big girl, I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Funny Poems

There was a young man from PeruWho fell asleep in a canoe.
He dreamt that Venus Was strokin' his penisAnd woke with a handful of goo.

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Gross Jokes Men jokes Funny Poems

Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his diск, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shiт I'd be in.

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Sex Jokes Vulgar jokes Funny Poems

AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy?
Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work.
Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that?
Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time.
Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning?
Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you.
Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that?
Casey: yes you should try it.
NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FАТ LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING.
Casey: What happened to you?
Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it.
Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say?
Michael: Nаррy head, nаррy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fат аss over I would do you like a dog.

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Funny Poems Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Fat Jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes

Sеx is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.

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Sex Jokes Religion jokes Funny Poems

I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your аss.

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Dirty jokes Funny Poems Beauty Jokes

My wife's face is green.
The room is now pink.
I think she yelled at me,
"That's your 21st drink!"

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Funny Poems Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Old People Jokes

Sеx is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.

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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Funny Poems Communication Jokes

Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee I slept with yo mama now it burns when I рее.

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Yo Momma Jokes Funny Poems

Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says I love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hеll with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn

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Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Vulgar jokes Funny Poems Love Jokes

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Funny Poems

Some love one,
Some love two.
I love one,
That is you.

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Funny Poems Flirt jokes Love Jokes

My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sеx appeal
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full-time job
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes.

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Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Funny Poems Single People Jokes Beauty Jokes Aviation Jokes Pilot Jokes