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Technology Jokes

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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Internet Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
From an article in the Wall Street Journal, about the Dutch firm that has been hired to manage the International Arrivals Building at New York's John F. Kennedy Airport:
The tile under the urinals in the Arrivals Building has that familiar lemony tinge; rubber soles stick to it. Over in Amsterdam, the tile under Schiphol's urinals would pass inspection in an operating room. But nobody notices. What everybody does notice is that each urinаl has a fly in it. Look harder, and the fly turns into the black outline of a fly, etched into the porcelain.
"It improves the aim," says Aad Kieboom. "If a man sees a fly, he aims at it." Mr. Kieboom, an economist, directs Schiphol's own building expansion. His staff conducted fly-in-urinаl trials and found that etchings reduce spillage by 80%. The Dutch will transfer the technology to New York.
"We will put flies in the urinals yes," Jan Jansen says in a back office at the Arrivals Building. He is the new Dutch general manager, the boss as of noon today. "It gives a guy something to think about. That's the perfect example of process control."
But a spokesperson for Rudy Guiliani, Mayor of New York, was heard to say, "What do we need with Dutch flies when we have more than enough roaches to рiss on?"
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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Men jokes Aviation Jokes Military Jokes Boss Jokes
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
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Facebook Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vаginа.
So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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Dirty jokes Technology Jokes
I wonder what Edward Scissorhands thinks of touchscreen technology.
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Technology Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes
Tres presidentes (Obama, Sarkozy y Calderón) están desnudos en la sauna de la casa blanca, discutiendo cuál será la estrategia a seguir para derrotar al terrorismo. Tre uomini si stanno rilassando in una sauna quando all'improvviso si ode un trillo. Uno di essi porge una mano all'orecchio ed inizia a parlare; quando finisce si sente osservatissimo e spiega: Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second... Tres hombres están desnudos en la sauna. De repente algo empieza a pitar. El primer hombre, un ingeniero de la Politécnica de Cataluña, aprieta su antebrazo y el pitido para. Los otros lo miran inquisitivamente. - "Es mi busca", dice. "Tengo un microchip bajo la piel de mi brazo". Unos minutos... Três homens estavam sentados nus na sauna. Um Americano, um Japonês e um Brasileiro. De repente, um bip soa. O Americano pressiona seu antebraço e o barulhinho pára. Os outros olham para ele, curiosos. — É meu pager, meu aparelhinho de bip, ele fala. Tenho um microchip sob a pele do meu braço.... Bill Gates, Andrew Grove von Intel und Jerry Sanders von AMD sitzen in einer Konferenz. Plötzlich entschuldigt sich Bill Gates und fängt an, mit seiner Armbanduhr zu reden. Grove und Sanders... Eram três homens um Brasileiro um Chinês e um Argentino. O Chinês todo esperto enventou um celular na mão e disse: -Olha Brasileiro olha Argentino. E os dois: -Nooooooooooooooossa. e o... Soudain, un bip retentit. L’Allemand se serra l’avant-bras et le bip s’arrêta. Les autres la regardèrent d’un air interrogateur. « C’était mon téléavertisseur », a-t-il dit. « J’ai une puce... Japanilainen, saksalainen ja suomalainen olivat lounaalla ravintolassa. Japanilaisen kello alkoi soida, ja hän vastasi kellopuhelimeensa. Suomalainen tuumasi, että onpas tekniikka kehittynyt... Suomalainen, sveitsiläinen ja japanilainen insinööri olivat kokoontuneet neuvotteluun. Yllättäen jostain kuului pirinää, sitten sveitsiläinen insinööri alkoi puhua rannekelloonsa. Hetken päästä...
Three guys are sitting in a sauna: a Mexican, an Asian, and a white guy. The Mexican and white guy are showing off their new tech gadgets. The white guy says, "Hey, look what I got: the new Google Glass!" The Mexican & Asian say, "Wow, that's nice, man." Then the Mexican guy says, "Check out my new cellphone; it's a watch!" The white guy and Asian say, "Very cool, dude." The Asian guy has nothing to show these guys, so he gets up and walks away nакеd to to the bathroom. Then he comes back 5 minutes later from the bathroom still nакеd with paper hanging out of his вuтт сrаск. The Mexican and white guy say, "Hey, you have something hanging out of your аss." The Asian guy says, "Oh look, I'm receiving a Fax!"
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Technology Jokes Men jokes
I put my phone on airplane mode, but it sure ain't flyin'.
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Technology Jokes Aviation Jokes
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.
She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says:
"Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says:
"In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says:
"Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his diск, holds it to her mouth and says:
"Hello.........mum are you there?"
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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes USA Jokes Internet Jokes Phone jokes
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
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Aviation Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
Q: How easy is it to count in binary?
A: It’s as easy as 01 10 11.
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Technology Jokes
Yo mamma is so fат that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!
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Technology Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Fat Jokes
What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A washing machine doesn't follow you around for three weeks after you dump your load into it.
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Sex Jokes Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Internet Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early.
Arriving home, he found his wife with another man.
Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next.
His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law.
"Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode."
"This I've got to hear," the Sailor said.
"It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"
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Technology Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes Communication Jokes Sailor Jokes
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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Facebook Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte!
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Programmer Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on.
It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal.
"I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy.
"Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.
Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge.
The second guy hands the first guy the money.
"I can't take your money," said the first guy.
"I cheated you.
The same story was on the five o'clock news."
"No, no.
Take it," said the second guy.
"I saw the five o'clock news too.
I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
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News and Politics Jokes Technology Jokes Money jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."
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Technology Jokes
Yo Momma is so fат, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
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Yo Momma Jokes Technology Jokes Fat Jokes Internet Jokes
I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine." but I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.
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Mexican jokes Technology Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes
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