American Presidents Humor

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We tip our hats to the "Baby Boomers".
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose, not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because we were always outside playing!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms. We had friends and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis ваlls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out anyone's eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the веll, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
The result? This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all!
And if you are one of the Baby Boomers, Congratulations!
Internet Jokes Friendship Jokes American Presidents Humor
The TV channel Gold’s eighth annual ranking, which is chosen by a panel chaired by the comedy critic Bruce Dessau, was put to 2,000 UK voters. Check out top 20 jokes. 1. Q: What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song?
Driving Home for Christmas 2. Q: Did you hear that production was down at Santa's workshop?
Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate! 3. Q: Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem?
All Virgin flights were cancelled 4. Q: Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve?
They have herd immunity 5. Q: Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown?
Because the "Arrrr!" rate had risen 6. Q: Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto?
Because eventually, it's behind you 7. Q: Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their work conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the inn 8. Q: Why can't Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute?
He doesn't know how many tiers it should have 9. Q: What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner?
They put on a super spread 10. Q: Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time?
Home Alone 11. Q: How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly?
Ignore the rules, move anywhere on the board you like, and never Go To Jail 12. Q: Why won't Santa lose any presents this year?
He's downloaded Sack and Trace 13. Q: How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas?
It'll take ages to flatten the curve 14. Q: How is Prince Andrew coping with the stresses of Christmas this year?
Fine. No sweat 15. Q: Why wasn't Rudolph allowed to take part in vaccine trials?
Because they only wanted guinea pigs 16. Q: Which government scheme supports Christmas dinner?
Eat Sprout To Help Out 17. Q: How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year's staff Christmas party?
Put him on mute 18. Q: How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited?
He keeps a logbook 19. Q: Who dresses in red and gives to the children this Christmas?
Marcus Rashford 20. Q: Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem?
Because they couldn't book a home delivery
Christmas Jokes Boss Jokes Pirate Jokes American Presidents Humor
La Mère supérieure du couvent, réveillée de bonne humeur, décide de faire le tour des cellules. A nun leaves her cell and walks along the corridor Медицинска сестра сутрин минава да види пациентите и всички и казвали: A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast. As she passed the young novices, Mother Superior said, "Good morning, ladies," and the novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior. May God be with you." But once they were past, she heard one novice say to another, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Mother Superior was... President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork and the error was... C'est le début de la matinée dans le couvent. Deux religieuses se dirigent vers le réfectoire pour prendre le petit déjeuner. Sur le chemin, elles croisent la Mère Supérieure qui semble d'une... O Papa e o Clinton morreram e foram para o céu. No dia seguinte eles se encontram e o Papa confessa a Clinton: — Não vejo a hora de encontrar a Virgem Maria! — IIhh! Acho que agora é tarde! En nunna vaknade en vacker morgon och bestämde sig för att ta en promenad. Hon steg upp och tog på sig sina skor. När hon hade gått en stund mötte hon en annan nunna som log och sa: - Har du... Siostra Przełożona udając się na poranne modlitwy, minęła po drodze dwie młode zakonnice, które właśnie z porannych modlitw wracały. Mijając, pozdrowiła je: - Dzień dobry dziewczęta, niech Bóg... Un preot Tanar se scula de dimineata, se Imbraca, se spala si se indrepta Spre sala de mese. Pe drum, doua calugarite il Salutara si, pe urma, ii spusera discret: - Parinte, v-ati sculat...
Political Jokes Office and Work Jokes American Presidents Humor
"Hey, today we got the four of clubs.
A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy.
And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds.
I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse."
Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far.
The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless."
Bill Maher "The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq.
You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain."
Bill Maher "Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles.
President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick.
There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" Bill Maher.
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