Communication Jokes

I just had an argument with a girl I know.
She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fuскs a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fuскs just two guys in a year, she's a sluт.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shiттy lock.
That shut her up.

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Teacher: "What does a duck say?"
Jenny: "Quack Quack"
Teacher: "What does a соw say?"
Madison: "Moo"
Teacher: "What does a pig say?"
Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you мотhеrfuскеr!"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal.
She says to the dentist, "dаrn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal".
The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".

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Dentist Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Baby Jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama told me that she had some wrinkles in her feet ; I suggested to wear stocking.
She said : "Woo it is 50 years that I am wearing pants the сhinк of her аss hadn't been recovery!"

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Old People Jokes Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What do you call a baby Mexican?
A: A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!

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Mexican jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Communication Jokes

Sometimes I use really big words which I don't understand to make me seem more photosynthesis.

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Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

A blonde gets her first period, so she goes to the drugstore to get some pads.
The wide selection and huge variety confuse her, so she asks the clerk for some help.
"What kind of pads should I get?" she says. "This is all new to me."
"Well," says the clerk, "that depends on the flow."
She says, "It's ceramic tile."

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Blonde Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?"
Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."

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Office and Work Jokes Communication Jokes Phone jokes

Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunк says, "There's a hеll of a lot of steps here."
The second drunк says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is вlооdy low down"

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties.
Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb.
There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb.
So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb.
Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?"
The boy looks back and says "who? me?"
The man says "yes."
The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker."
The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker."
The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating рussy and moving down the road."

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Pet Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama so dumb that when she looked in a mirror she yelled stop copying me.

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Yo Momma Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove.
"Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?"
"I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno."
"I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history."
"Do you have Shakespeare in English?"

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Business jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Dinosaur jokes Superhero Jokes

A professor and a doctor both love the same girl.
Each one tries to get rid of the other.
Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week.
Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there.
When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes

My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the вuтт of so many jokes."
Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."

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Chuck Norris Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes

Let's walk and talk.
You go that way.

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Mean Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment.
The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat."
He smiled. "Done."

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Nurse jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
A: Long distance!

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Dinosaur jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

One day, Muhammad's wife called him a реdорhilе.
In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Communication Jokes

Two men were talking:
First :
"Can U put the word 'реnis' in a sentence?"
Second:
"Yo mama's рussy."

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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"

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Accountant Jokes Business jokes Communication Jokes Military Jokes