Communication Jokes

The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir."
"What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss.
"Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"

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When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C."
Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

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Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Coffee Jokes

The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."

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Food Jokes Waiter Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

One day little Jonny was at his house asleep until he heard his parents arguing and his mom called the dad a "ваsтаrd" and the dad called the mom a "вiтсh".
So little Jonny asked, "dad what does вiтсh and ваsтаrd mean?"
Then his dad said it meant "ladies and gentlemen."
So the next day little Jonny was upstairs in his room until he heard his mom moaning.
He walked into their room and the mom said "feel my тiттiеs" and the dad said "choke on my diск".
Little Jonny asked, "dad what does тiттiеs and diскs mean?"
So his dad said "coats and jackets."
Then it was Thanksgiving and they were having family over for the day and Little Jonny went upstairs and heard his dad say "shiт!"
Because he had cut himself.
And Little Jonny said, "dad what does shiт mean?"
So his dad said "it means wiping shaving cream off my face."
So little Jonny went back downstairs and his mom was in the kitchen stuffing a turkey and she yelled: "fuск!"
So little Jonny asked, "what does fuск mean?"
And she said "stuffing the turkey."
Then the doorbell rang, and Little Jonny opened the door and said: "hello вiтсhеs and ваsтаrds put your тiттiеs and diскs on the coat racket, my dads, upstairs wiping the shiт off his face and my moms in the kitchen fuскing the turkey!"

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Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Parent Jokes Vulgar jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Communication Jokes

Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer.
"How's it going?", someone asked.
"Oh, not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."

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Judge and Court Jokes Lawyer Jokes Communication Jokes

Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my аss look like the side of the house?"
He says, "No, our house isn't blue."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes

"Are you two twins?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes."
"OK that's enough, your driver's license please."

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Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Police Officer Jokes Communication Jokes

My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?"
I replied I prefer the good one.
Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!"
I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear?
A: Lynx

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Communication Jokes Internet Jokes

One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a вееr.
His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted".
He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough."
His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?"
He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his вееr.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes Beer Jokes

Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper.
Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..."
Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach.
Husband faints.
Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes

Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a week?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a month?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a year?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Ok, I have a joke.
Her: "Ok."
Me: "Knock, knock."
Her: "Who's there?"
Me: "You didn't remember me."

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Relationship Jokes Knock-knock jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Scene: A radio newsroom.
Caller: "I just wanted to let you know you're off the air."
Host: "Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it."
Caller: "It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that."

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Engineer Jokes Communication Jokes

Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless."
Doc: "How? Give me an example."
Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my diск."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

I don't like the term "аnаl bleaching".
I prefer "changing your ringtone."

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Communication Jokes

A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?"
Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!"
Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"

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Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or оrаl?"
And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was аnаl... 'Cuz it went like shiт!"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Hunting Jokes Communication Jokes Dog jokes

Q: What did the farmer say when he is driving down the road on a steep hill and his right front wheel falls off?
A: "You picked a poor time to leave me loose wheel."

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Car and driving jokes Communication Jokes