Computer Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone.
Also a challenge to the iPhone?
Making phone calls.

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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is!
My sтuрid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"

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How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

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A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget.
We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.
We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and...
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me.
But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We await your direction.

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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.

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Computer Jokes

The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better".
So I installed LINUX.

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Geek jokes Computer Jokes

A press release:
"Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network реnетrатiоn and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."

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Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

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Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems.
They decide to throw a coin.
Cannavino:
"If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard."
Gates:
"Hey, you forgot Windows NT."
Cannavino:
"No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Computer Jokes

I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day.
Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

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Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love.
The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.”
The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!”
The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”

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Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.

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Knock knock!
Who's there?
Yah!
Yah who?
Naaah, bro, I prefer google.

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Knock-knock jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes

Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: Because it had Bluetooth.

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Computer Jokes Dentist Jokes Nerd jokes

Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!

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