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Food Jokes

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Q: What is a ghosts favorite snack?
A: Boo berries
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Yo mama so fат and sтuрid, she went to a grocery store and tried to gamble at Butterball.
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The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said:
"yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
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An American family has grandparents who live in Russia.
Every month, the grandparents send a package of powder to the American family.
The package always says:
"Just add water."https://unijokes. Com/
Every time the family does this the powder turns into a delicious soup.
The soups are always different and the family is always excited to find out which new foreign flavor they get to try out.
One day, the family receives a package in the mail containing some gray powder.
Assuming that this is another soup, the family dumps it into a рот and adds some water.
However, unlike all the other soups, this one t astes grainy and disgusting.
The family still eats it though just to be polite.
A week later, a letter from the grandpa comes in the mail saying:
"Grandma Taya has died and I have sent the ashes to you. She wants to be scattered in America as that is her favorite place."
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Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker tomato?
A: "You better ketchup!"
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KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner.
They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good.
Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door.
The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families.
She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun.
They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls.
The father says "this soup stinks!"
The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful."
The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shiт" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating."
After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on.
The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
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Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off.
I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager.
A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand.
"All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"
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A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever yo do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you."
"In that case," said the boy, "I'll kiss it's вuтт and let it go."
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A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.
Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
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Yo mama so fат all the McDonald's food are gone.
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Teacher:
"If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny:
"A bad blatter issue."
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- Honnan lehet tudni, hogy a répa jó hatással van a látásra? - Miért? Te láttál már szemüveges nyulat? - Daktare, jeigu valgysiu daug morkų, ar tikrai pagerės mano regėjimas? - Aišku! Argi kada matėte triušį su akiniais?.. Τα πολλά καρώτα του Γιωρίκα - Откъде знаеш, че морковите са полезни за зрението? Un médico le dice a su paciente: - Las zanahorias son buenas para la vista. - Y eso, ¿Cómo lo sabe? - Muy sencillo, ¿Qué usted ha visto un conejo con gafas? Пацієнт запитує в лікаря: — Лікарю, а правду кажуть, що від моркви зір покращується? — Правду кажуть! Ви коли-небудь бачили зайця в окулярах? Przychodzi baba do lekarza, a lekarz mówi: - Co pani dolega? - Mam bardzo słaby wzrok Na to lekarz: - Proszę jeść dużo marchewek tak jak królik. - Co? - zdziwiła się baba. - No tak widziała pani... Medicul oftalmolog o sfatuieste pe o pacienta sa faca o Cura de morcovi pentru a-si imbunatati vederea. Sceptica, femeia intreaba: - Domnule doctor, sinteti sigur ca nu voi mai avea Probleme cu...
Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
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Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
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Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
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Един турист се разхождал из Лондон и се натъкнал на странна табела,която гласяла:
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me, is right here," replies the old man."You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He say, "Hans Olaffsen." Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"
"I say, Sem Ting."
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A woman asks an agriculturalist:
"Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables."
The agriculturalist says:
"You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer."
The woman says:
"And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the аss?"
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