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Relationship Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Why do these 2 relationships differ so much: the orbital relationship between the earth and sun and that of a tether ball and it's pole?.......

.......that of the sun and earth is a no strings attatched relationship and the other is not!
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Relationship Jokes Sci-Fi Jokes
I met her on the Internet,
she said her name was Kiki,
I spoke to her one Saturday,
it soon became twice weekly.
I liked her face, her pointed сhin,
the way she touched her hair,
I loved her smile and glinting eyes,
and all beyond in there
I longed to meet her desperately,
but only could I dream,
of seeing her in the flesh
and not just on the screen
I booked my flight
and flew for hours,
I was feeling so elated
but finally, when we met
her face looked devastated
Why was this? I could not think.
Of course, I should have told her
I’m really only 4 feet tall,
and my head’s a lot more balder.
It always seemed too good for real,
the honeymoon was over,
I reluctantly went home again,
and wept as I flew over
and soon enough , I did groan,
the relationship had ended
she broke my heart
the wretched вiтсh,
and still it hasn’t mended
there is a happy ending though,
for after I lost Kiki,
I fell in love with Annabel
who doesn’t find me geeky
Anna is a lovely sight,
she makes me warm inside
I have to вlоw her up, you see
cause she’s my latex bride
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Relationship Jokes Funny Poems Internet Jokes
I would never cheat in a relationship,
because that would require two people to find me attractive.
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Relationship Jokes Cheating Jokes
I'd rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
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One-Liner Jokes Relationship Jokes
It's not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize.
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Relationship Jokes Love Jokes
If all you do in your relationship is cry, you need to ask yourself if you’re dating a human being or an onion.
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Relationship Jokes Dating Jokes
The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. ...Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder.
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Relationship Jokes Love Jokes
A husband and wife decide on a code language whenever they feel like having sеx to escape the attention of their son. According to the code language, the wife will be the typewriter and the husband will act as the typist. However, they had a petty quarrel a few days ago and were not talking to each other. One day the husband gets into the mood and he can’t hold any longer. So he sends a word to his wife through the son. The son comes and tells her, “Mom, dad wants to use the typewriter.” The wife was having her period at that time and she thought for a while and said, “Tell dad, he can’t because the red ribbon is on now,” she said. However, the husband misunderstands that it was a deliberate excuse on her part. Next day the son comes to his dad on an errand from his mom this time and tells him, “Dad, mom said it is okay now; the red ribbon is removed and you can type.” The husband then tells his son, “Tell your mom I don’t need to type now. It was urgent, so I've already written with my hand!”
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Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes Relationship Jokes Dad Jokes
The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.
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Boycott Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes
I’m about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have еrестiоn difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viаgrа and I bought her a treadmill.
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Relationship Jokes Sex Jokes Viagra jokes
A guy takes his girlfriend to his bedroom, drops his pants, and says, "Meet my little brother." The girlfriend picks up her purse on the way out and says, "Call me when he grows up."
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Relationship Jokes Sex Jokes
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy pickings.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men......... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to get the best of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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Wine jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes
A husband asks his wife, "Will you marry after I die?"
The wife responds, "No, I will live with my sister."
The wife asks him back, "Will you marry after I die?"
The husband responds, "No, I will also live with your sister."
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Relationship Jokes
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine. My girlfriend just admitted that she used to be a Christian , so I broke up with her . It might be judgemental, but I have only known her since she has been Christine.
Just broken up with my girlfriend after she told me she used to be Christian.
..It might seem judgmental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
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Christian Jokes Relationship Jokes
A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Dave."

"Who?"

"Dave Bronson. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave every single time."

"There are always a few clouds over everybody."

"Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star."

"He was something, huh?"

"He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

"No wonder you remember him."

"Well, I never actually met Dave."

"Then how do you know so much about him?"

"I married his widow."
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Wine jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes Single People Jokes
My relationships with women have suскеd ever since I began dating and picking up вавеs. I met this gal in a bar Tuesday night and took her back to my apartment.
I was getting ready to shаg her and she started crying.
I said, “What’s wrong? Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?”
She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
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Dating Jokes Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes
The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other’s smartphone.
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Dating Jokes Relationship Jokes
My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she’s going to leave me. I’m really going to miss her.
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Internet Jokes Relationship Jokes
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?"
"I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get double that amount."
"Okay, I wish for a billion dollars."
"Granted, but you ex-wife gets two billion dollars."
"I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything."
"Granted, and your ex-wife gets two." "Now make your final wish.” The explorer walks around for a few minutes, returns to the genie with a stick, and says, “You see this stick? I’d like you to beat me half to death.”
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Relationship Jokes
We live in a society where the relationship status on Facebook is more official than a wedding ring.
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Facebook Jokes One-Liner Jokes Relationship Jokes
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