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School Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

The income tax expert was visiting the school to talk about taxes. “I’m going to tell you now about “indirect” taxes. Can anybody tell me what an indirect tax is?”
“A dog license,” said Smart Josh.
“And why is that?” asked the expert.
“The dog doesn’t pay it,” replied Josh.

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School Jokes Business jokes Dog jokes

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them - and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly.
“What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.”
“Glue!”
“Then it’s apple pie - the plum pie tastes like soap.”

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School Jokes Military Jokes College jokes

A teacher in a political science class asked the students, "Who is the most powerful person in the US?"
A student answered, "The First Pet?"
The teacher then asked, "Why?"
The student explained, "Because, the president kneels before him, talks to him, listens to him, follows him, prefers him to office staff, looks after his wellbeing before the voters', cancels/defers official duties in favor of him, and boards Airforce One first."

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Political Jokes Science jokes

Q: What do college students and deer have in common?
A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.

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School Jokes College jokes

My high school basketball coach told me I'd never make it to the NBA...
What he really said was "Dylan, You're not black", but I knew what he meant.

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School Jokes

*Throws pencil at kid*
Elementary: Ow! That hurt! I'm telling on you!
Middle school: Dамn bro, stop.
High school: WТF? *Throws pencil at you*
College: FUS RO DAH *Throws desk at you*

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

Teacher:
"Name a bird with wings but can't fly."
Student:
"A dead bird, sir."

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

Teacher:
"I asked you to draw a соw and grass, but I only see a соw. Where is grass?"
Student:
"The соw ate the grass, sir."

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says,
"Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies,
"Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says,
"Don't change the subject!"

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School Jokes Money jokes

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gаy. The father says,
"Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies,
"Yeah, but he's so cute!"

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

A mother went to pick up her daughter from elementary school and found her doing handstands against the wall. When they got into the car, the mother said,
"Darling, I wish you wouldn't do that because the boys can see your раnтiеs."
"Okay, mommy," the little girl replied. The next day, the mother noticed her little girls hands looked dirтy, so she asked,
"You haven't been doing handstands again and letting those boys see your раnтiеs, have you?"
"Oh no, mummy," the daughter replied. "Honestly! I took them off first."

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

What is white when it's dirтy and black when it's clean?
A chalkboard.

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

Things I never learned in High School:
1) how to do taxes
2) anything to do with banking
3) how to do loans for college
4) how to buy a car / house
5) how to jump start a car
But I'm so glad I know the f*cking Pythagorean Theorem.

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School Jokes

Teacher: What is the value of Pi?
Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

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School Jokes

Teacher:
"Why are you so late?"
Student:
"Someone told me to go to hеll."
Teacher:
"Why did that make you late to class?"
Student:
"I couldn't find it at first, but now here I am."

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School Jokes

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says,
"Why is that, Angus?"

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School Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand. The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet."
"A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked,
"Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."

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School Jokes

Teacher:
"What is the future tense of the statement:
'I had killed a thief'?"
Student:
"You will go to jail."

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School Jokes

An English teacher told his students that when pronouncing a word beginning with the letter "H" they should ignore the "H" as in hour, honor, and honest. That day when leaving for class, he left a note for his assistant, "Please heat my rice for me." When the teacher returned to his office, he met an empty bowl. He asked the assistant, "Where is my food?" The assistant replied, "You said I should heat the rice for you, but you also instructed us to ignored the 'H.'"

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes

Teacher:
"Where was the Constitution of India signed?"
Student:
"At the bottom of the page!"

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School Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes