Sex Jokes

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Кампување Strange Bed Fellows Three Men and a Bed три друга поехали отдыхать. в отеле им сказали, что свободен только один номер с одной, но... C'est l'histoire de trois mecs qui couchent dans une tente... Dans un camping, 3 potes dorment dans une même tente. Au petit matin, ils discutent : Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then... Det var 3 killar som delade madrass på LAN. På morgonen vaknar dem och den första säger: "Vilken skön dröm jag hade, kändes som att nån runka av mig". Den andra säger samma sak. Och den tredje säger: "Jag drömde att jag åkte skidor".
Friendship Jokes Sports Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period.
Mum was a bit worried about how their sеx life would get started and made them all promise to
send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sеx.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card said nothing but: "Nescafe".
Puzzled at first Mum went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Great from beginning to end".
Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from the Maldives a week after the wedding and the card read: "Rothmans".
Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes to read from the pack: "Super strong King Size".
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.. the third girl departed for her honeymoon in New Zealand.
Mum waited for a week,
Nothing.
Another week went by and still nothing.
A month passed; still nothing.
A card finally arrived from Auckland on which was written with shaky hand, "Air New Zealand ".
Mum took out her latest travel magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst and finally found the ad for Air NZ.
'Ten times a day, seven days a week, in all directions.'
Dirty jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Wedding jokes
Jake went to the doctor and told him he was having a problem, as he was unable to get his manhood еrест:
The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the оrgаn were damaged and there was nothing he could do for him. However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he was willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of planting muscle tissues from an elephant's trunk into his 'old fella'.
Jake thought about it for a while. The thought of having to go through life without sеx was too much for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty to the elephant, the man decided to go for it.
A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to go and try out his newly renovated equipment.
As a result Jake planned a romantic evening with his wife Mary and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town. In the middle of dinner he felt a strong stirring in his lоins that continued to the point of being extremely painful.
To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his кnов sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and returned to his trousers.
Mary was stunned at first, but then with a sly grin on her face said. "That was incredible. Can you do that again?"
With tears in his eyes he replied. "I think I can, but I am not sure if another bread roll will fit up my аrsе."
Sex Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Мъж се разхожда със сина си и виждат две кучета да се чукат. O menino está passeando com o pai quando vê um casal de cães acasalando no meio da rua. A man and his wife were having sex one night in there bedroom. A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.” The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able... A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?" His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!" Boy say, "Do her d*ggy style I want a puppy."
Pet Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes Dog jokes
Деца на задната седалка причиняват произшествия. Дете и на задното седиште може да предизвика инцидент. Kinderen op de achterbank veroorzaken ongelukken. Ongelukken op de achterbank veroorzaken kinderen. Ungar i baksätet leder till olyckor, och olyckor i baksätet leder till ungar. Børn på bagsædet forårsager ulykker. Ulykker på bagsædet forårsager børn. Τα παιδιά στο πίσω κάθισμα μπορεί να προκαλέσουν ατύχημα. Τα ατυχήματα στο πίσω κάθισμα μπορεί να προκαλέσουν παιδιά.
Car and driving jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes
Remarks Never Heard at Daytona 500:
- None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth.
- Tampax! Get your Tampax here!
- Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race!
- Sеx with your sister? Man, that's sick.
- My God, this is a splendid Merlot.
- Hey, you with the large вrеаsтs, out of the way. We're trying to watch a race here.
- Jeeves, be a good man and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attach case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone.
- What a coincidence, Hank, all my friends are boycotting Ноотеrs, too.
- These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert.
- Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor.
- Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley.
- And now, singing our national anthem, international recording artist Boy George.
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