Sexist Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes

Michael and his wife live in Minnesota. One winter morning while listening to WCCO, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Michael's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." Michael's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park......", then the electric power goes out. Michael's wife is very upset and, with a worried look on her face, she says, "Honey, I don' know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in Michael's voice, like all the men who are married to blondes exhibit, Michael says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.

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Sexist Jokes Blonde Jokes

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him.
"What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

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Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Sexist Jokes

"Dad, whats the difference between a p*ssy and a c*nt ?" young son ask.
"Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his nакеd sleeping mother, "that's a p*ssy son."
"Its wonderful dad, can I touch it?"
"NO son," says dad, "If you touch the p*ssy you'll wake the c*nt up!"

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Dad Jokes Dirty jokes Sexist Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

Q: Why did my wife cross the road?
A: To go back to the first shoe shop we went in three вlооdy hours ago.

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Business jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Sexist Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hеll of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gаy."
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gаy, too!"
On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Relationship Jokes Sexist Jokes

Question: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes Sexist Jokes

Q: What happens when you give Viаgrа to lawyers?
A: They grow taller!

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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Political Jokes Viagra jokes Lawyer Jokes Sexist Jokes

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance.
The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”

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Golf jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Sexist Jokes Stupid Jokes

A man saw a lady with big вrеаsтs. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your вrеаsтs for $1000?"
She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her вrеаsтs for 10 minutes."
Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"
He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes

“All men are fсuкing useless” said a woman on her status on Facebook (created by a man) using her phone (invented by men) in her house (built by men).
Meanwhile, she’s microwaving her five kids’ dinners.

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Facebook Jokes Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes

How did the medical community come up with the term "РМS"? "Mad Соw Disease" was already taken.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Sexist Jokes

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes Sexist Jokes Cyclist Humor

Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women.
Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone.
But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and an amoeba?
One wears a tie.

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Office and Work Jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Viagra jokes Lawyer Jokes Dating Jokes Sexist Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't - there's a clock on the oven.

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Insult Jokes Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

Q:What did the elephant say to the nакеd man?
A: How do you drink water with that?

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Animal Jokes Insult Jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes

Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."

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Men jokes Jokes about Women Insult Jokes God Jokes Sexist Jokes

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Sexist Jokes Aviation Jokes

Q: How does a man plan for the future?
A: He buys two cases of вееr.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sexist Jokes Beer Jokes