Chuck Norris

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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.

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Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.

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There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck norris is always in control

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Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by... Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fат kids into a camp fire.

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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... With his breath.

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Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.

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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...

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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fат kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.

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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.

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Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.

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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.

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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

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Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!

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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.

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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.

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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.

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