Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.

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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.

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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.

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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.

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When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.

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Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.

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Death once took Chuck Norris.
He regreted it.

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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.

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Kids dream about having superpowers.
Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!

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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.

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There are 5 known levels of Super-Saiyan.
Achieving the 6th level is known as "Going Chuck Norris."

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Bears only роор in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..

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Inertia is a property of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

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