Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.

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Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

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Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... Yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.

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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.

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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his diск wouldn't fit.

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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.

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Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.

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Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.

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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suск it Microsoft.

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The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.

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In 1990, Chuck Norris founded the non-profit organization "Kick Drugs Out of America". If the organization's name were "Roundhouse Kick Drugs out of America", there wouldn't be any drugs in the Western Hemisphere. Anywhere.

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When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore

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Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!

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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.

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Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can кill him and take it.

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