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Chuck Norris

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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Only Chuck Norris can tell you the answer to your question before you ask it.
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Хълк е зелен
The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car...
The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime.
Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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There was no Big Ваng at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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