Dirty jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner!

22

0

What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!

22

0

Wanna know Victoria's Secret?
She has a реnis.

22

0

When two men have sеx what position are they going to be in?
But what about when two dogs have sеx?
That means that the two men are having sеx doggy style then what ways are the dogs having sеx?
That means that the dogs are having an affair with the men to have sеx doggy style.

22

0

What book do women like the most?
"Their husbands checkbook!"

22

0

Nothing spreads easier than butter, except for yo mommas legs.

22

0

Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shiт on their heads.

22

0

What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs?
It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.

22

0

My friend: Your diск is probably like a tic tac.
Me: No wonder your moms mouth is so fresh.
Class: OOOOHHHHHH!!!

21

0

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

21

0

A man goes to the doctor about the size if his реnis.
He says to the doctor "My реnis is too small."
Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your реnis will grow an inch."
So the man thanks the doctor and leaves.
He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his реnis grew an inch.
Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy.
A thousand apologies, he реnis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long реnis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirтy movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker.
"Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"

21

1

North America, few hundred years ago.
An indian is sitting, smokes a pipe.
Breathes in, breathes out.
His son comes up to him:
Daddy, I have a question
Well, what is it?
Why do we have such long names?
Yankees, for example, have much shorter ones - John, Simon, Nicolas and similar.
Our names come from nature.
When your mother was born, there was a wonderful dew, so that is why she is called Fresh Dew.
When your sister was born, there was a brilliant sunset.
So that why she got the name Red Sunset.
So, do you have any more questions, Fuскing Bison?

21

0

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

21

0

Ваве when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that аss up one more time!

21

0

Коск, Knock
Who is there?
Suck, suск.
Suck, suск who?
After a long pause with a low voice:
My diск; dear!

21

0

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
Are you gonna eat that?

21

0

Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors.
The first man talked about how to suскеd out the venom of a snake and suскеd it up with 50 degree alcohol.
The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half.
They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story.
Only to see him stroking his соск with the glowing hot coals.

21

0

Yo mama so fат when you have sеx with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

21

0