Gay Jokes, Lesbian Jokes

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What do you call a gаy bar with no bar stools?
A fruit stand.

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Why did the little Greek boy run away from home?
He didn't like the way he was being reared.

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When two men have sеx what position are they going to be in?
But what about when two dogs have sеx?
That means that the two men are having sеx doggy style then what ways are the dogs having sеx?
That means that the dogs are having an affair with the men to have sеx doggy style.

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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gаy?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gаy stirs yesterday's dinner.

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What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
About 40 lb.

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A hомо went to Denmark to have a sеx change operation performed.
When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?"
"Oh awful, just awful!" she replied.
"What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?"
"Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all."
"Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked.
"Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied.
"Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?"
"It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"

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Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”.
The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".
The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

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Two fаgs are on a picnic,and the first guy says,"I have to take a
dumpski,"and he walks into the woods to do it.
Several minutes later,the other guy hears the first guy crying
"Boo Hoo,I Had A Miscarriage.
I Had A Miscarriage."
He runs into the woods to see what is going on.
When he gets there,the first guy is still crying,"Boo-Hoo I Had a Miscarriage...
He looks down and says,"Don't be silly.
You didn't have a miscarraige.
You had diarrhea on a toad."

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How does a gаy man fake an оrgаsм?
He spits on his partners back.

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What's the definition of a poofter?
A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!

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Have you heard about the two gаy lawyers who tried each other?

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Why is it so difficult to find men who are caring, sensitive, and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.

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A son is on the computer and he comes across the word gаy. He asks his dad, “What does gаy mean?”
“It means happy.”
“So dad, are you gаy?” the son asks.
Dad replies, “No son, I have a wife.”

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“It will soon be vaseline day,” said my son.
“Don’t you mean Valentines day?” I replied.
“I know what I mean, ” he answered, “by the way, I need to have a talk with you and mum. “

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Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me, because it’s comfortable…
..
..
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Who cares if you can see my ваlls?

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“We never had a TV in the family when I was younger, ” said my granddad.
“Well you have now gramps, ” I said as I adjusted my dress.

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I was practicing telling my dad that I’m gаy in front of our parrot.
I changed my mind about telling him after he cut the parrot’s head off.

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My girlfriend’s parents are very religious. …
….
The first time I was at their house her father said we weren’t allowed to sleep together. ….
…..
It was a bit of a shame, he was very attractive.

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