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Навистина - Знам много неща! - каза Wikipedia. Facebook: "Ich kenne jeden!" Wikipedia: "Ich weiß alles!" Google: "Ich finde alles!" Internet: "Ohne mich geht gar nichts!" Strom: "ACH WIRKLICH?" Wikipedia: - ¡Sé todo! Google: - ¡Puedo encontrar todo! Facebook: - ¡Conozco a tod@s! Internet: - ¡Sin mí no sois nada! Electricidad: - ¡Callaos 1. Wikipedia: Én mindent tudok! 2. Google: Nekem mindenem megvan! 3. Facebook: Én mindenkit ismerek! 4. Internet: Nélkülem ti nem értek semmit! Áramszolgáltató: Csakugyan? Wikipedia : Én mindent tudok! Google : Nálam mindent megtaláltok! Internet : Nélkülem nem értek semmit! Áram : Tényleg? Hádají se: Wikipedia: "Já vím všechno!" Google: "Já najdu všechno!" Facebook: "Já znám všechny!" Internet: " Wikipédia : Je sais tout ! Google : J'ai tout ! Facebook : Je connais tout le monde ! Internet : Pfff vous êtes rien sans moi ! Éléctricité : Hahaha j'vous ai tous ! Facebook: heč já znam všechny na světě! Google: a co
Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking вiтсhеs!
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I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it. Now I have two problems.
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90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
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Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
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I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
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Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.
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The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
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Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
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I follow CIA on Twitter just so they can see how it feels.
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Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.
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Q: Where's Spiderman's home page?
A: On the world wide web.
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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."
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If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
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Hit any user to continue.
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ADA: A Dumb Arrangement
ADA: A Dumb Acronym
ADA: A Dumb Annoyance
BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders
BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code
BASIC: Beginner's Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion
C: Crud
C: Confusing
COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language
COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language
COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages
COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated Languages
COBOL: Сrар Operated By Obsessed lunatics
COBOL: Сrар Often Bothers Our Lethargy
COBOL: Сrар Ostracized By Our Loathing
COBOL: Compiles Only Because Of Luck
COBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized Language
COBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed Lunatics
FORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverland
LISP: Lots of Insanely Sтuрid Parentheses
LISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses
PASCAL:\Programmers Against Structured Code And Language
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"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!"
"Don't you mean netsurfing?"
"No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
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Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?
A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
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