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Yo mama so fат when she looks in the mirror the mirror said: "oh no get out the way."

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Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M.
It was his Ku Klux Кlаn buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery.
"What's the matter?" asked Moody.
"Are you in trouble?"
"No!" said Crumm.
"What do you want, then?"
"Nothing!"
"Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody.
"Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"

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Money jokes Redneck jokes Phone jokes

The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.

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Soccer Jokes American Football Jokes Beauty Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

Mission Statement: A long awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly.

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Management Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean.
Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef.
They start debating how to open the can without can-opener.
Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it.
Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire.
Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."

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Science jokes Math Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"

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Sports Jokes

What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.

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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes

Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide?
He didn't even leave a note.

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Music and Musician Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gаy!

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Sports Jokes

Yo momma is so ugly that Superman lost his supervision and went blind.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes Superhero Jokes

Yo mama so ugly Lady Liberty blew her torch out so she wouldn't have to see her.

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Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes

Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

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Office and Work Jokes Mean Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?
A: Turkey.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Terrorist jokes Thanksgiving Jokes

Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC?
A: A dumb terminal.
Q: Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand?
A: So brunettes can understand them.
Q: How did the blond burn her ear?
A: The phone rang while she was ironing.
Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".
Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?
A: Because blondes would have to think them up.
Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?
A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"?
A: When she got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia.
Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box?
A: A case of empties.

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Blonde Jokes

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her: "Don't you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear?" The girl was understandably upset at being very sтuрid and naive, and decided to show those boys a thing or two. The next day, they repeated their request, and when she came home she was beaming. "What are you so happy about?" asked her mother. "I totally showed them. Today I didn't even WEAR underwear!"

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Blonde Jokes

Why don't black people go on cruises?
They already fell for that shiт once before.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?"
Gran replies "fuск your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"

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Drug Jokes

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer,
"What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

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Office and Work Jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes

A woman went to her doctor for advice.
She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for аnаl sеx, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.
The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"
She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?"
She said no.
The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice аnаl sеx, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant."
The woman was mystified.
She asked, "You can get pregnant from аnаl sеx?"
The Doctor replied, "Of course.
Where do you think lawyers come from?"

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Lawyer Jokes

[ancient greece]
Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?"
Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine."
Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be."
Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"

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School Jokes History Jokes

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