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A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel!! No, think of another
wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy...."
The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"
Bridge to Hawaii One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. A man was strolling along a beach in California. A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man... Der Geist in der Flasche À Brest, un retraité est en train de biner son jardin lorsqu'il tombe sur une vieille lampe à huile, comme celle d'Aladdin. En man är ute och promenerar på en strand i Kalifornien och funderar över livet när han helt plötsligt utbrister: - "Herre, uppfyll en önskan åt mig!" Plötsligt fylls himlen av mörka moln över hans huvud och han hör Gud säga med mörk röst: -... Een man wandelde op het strand en was in diep gebed verzonken. Plots zei hij luidop: "God, laat me één wens doen". De lucht brak open boven zijn hoofd en de luide stem van God riep: "Omdat jij mij... Mies kulki yksinään rannalla ja löysi pullon lojumassa hiekassa. Hän kurkottui poimimaan pullon ja veti korkin ulos. Savupilven keskeltä tuli esiin henki. Henki kiitti nopeasti miestä vapaudestaan...
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Мъж и дете вървят в гората: gruseliger Wald Geht ein Mann mit einem kleinen Mädchen durch den Wald. Sagt das Mädchen: Ein Mörder und sein Opfer gehen Hand in Hand durch einen finsteren Wald. Überall raschelt es und man hört alle möglichen Geräusche. Das Opfer sagt irgendwann: C'est une petite fille qui dit: Ο σατανιστής Un grosso uomo e una bimba camminano nel bosco mano nella mano: Ao cair da tarde, uma maravilhosa loira vai ao parque sozinha. Lá ela encontra um sujeito estranho que logo a convida para fazer uma seção de fotos em um local mais isolado do parque. Ingenuamente ela aceita e então acompanha o moço em uma trilha que se embrenhava na mata. Então a loira começa a... Seryjny morderca ciągnie kobietę do lasu. Kobieta krzyczy przerażona: - Ale ponuro i ciemno w tym lesie. Bardzo się boję! Na to morderca: - No, a ja co mam powiedzieć? Będę wracał sam... Idzie morderca i blondynka przez las. Nagle blondynka mówi: - Boję się! Na to morderca: - A co ja mam powiedzieć, skoro będę potem sam wracał przez las? En pedofil lockar med lilla Per ut i skogen. Lille Per: “Uhh det är så mysigt här ute i skogen…” Pedofilen: “Tänk på mig! Jag ska gå hem helt själv…”
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An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?"
His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive."
The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal.
"Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot.
The couple climbs in the helicopter.
The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter.
The couple never made a sound.
The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides."
The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
Габровец отива със семейството си в София на гости на роднини. Två gamlingar firade guldbröllop med att åka helikopter. De skulle få åka en tur helt gratis dagen till ära, men bara på ett villkor, nämligen att de var tysta hela tiden under flygturen. Piloten...
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Каубой влиза в бар, на една от масите трима мъж и едно куче играят покер. Ein Mann geht in Las Vegas in ein Casino und sieht wie ein Hund mit seinem Herrchen pokert. Der Mann geht hin und sagt: "Boah, ihr Hund ist ja hoch intelligent." Darauf der Besitzer: "Intelligent?... De man kan zich niet beheersen en maakt de opmerking: "Knap zeg van die hond! Dat hij kan pokeren, dat moet wel de slimste hond ter wereld zijn!" "De slimste? Haha wij zijn veel slimmer!" "Elke... Három cowboy meg egy kutya pókerezik. Az asztal körül sokan nézelődnek. Az egyik érdeklődő megkérdezi a szomszédjától: - Mit szólsz ehhez a kutyához? A szomszéd nevetően mondja: - Sosem lesz belőle...
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Син пита баща си: Татко, вярно ли е, че в арабските държави Син пита баща си: Синот го прашува таткото: Вистина ли е дека во некои области на Африка мажот не ја познава жената сè додека не ја ожени? Таткото: Така ти е тоа, сине мој, во сите земји. A little boy says: Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries! Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!” El hijo le pregunta al padre: - Папа, а правда, что на Кавказе жених узнает кто его невеста после свадьбы? Sohn: "Stimmt es, Vater, dass in einigen Teilen Afrikas die Männer ihre Frauen bis zum Tag ihrer Hochzeit nicht kennen?" - C'est vrai papa, que dans certaine parties de l'Afrique, un homme ne connait pas sa femme avant de se marier ? Le Père: - Et c'est pareil dans tous les pays... - Papa, il paraît qu'en Afrique, dans certains pays, les hommes ne connaissent leur femme que le jour du mariage. C'est vrai ? - Mais, c'est vrai dans tous les pays du monde, mon chéri ! Συμβαίνει παντού - Μπαμπά άκουσα ότι σε κάποιες χώρες της Αφρικής ο άντρας δεν γνωρίζει την γυναίκα που θα παντρευτεί μέχρι την ημέρα του γάμου τους. - Αυτό παιδί μου συμβαίνει σε όλες τις χώρες. — Тату, а це правда, що в декотрих країнах Сходу наречений не знає, хто його дружина, поки не ожениться? — Це в будь-якій країні, синку! O filho curioso pergunta para o pai: — É verdade que em algumas partes da África o homem não conhece sua esposa até casar com ela? O pai responde cabisbaixo: — Aqui também é assim! O filho mais novo pergunta ao pai: — Pai, é verdade que em alguns países da África os maridos não conhecem suas esposas antes do casamento? — Não, filho. Isso acontece em todos países. Syn pyta ojca: - Czy to prawda, że w niektórych krajach Afryki mężczyzna nie zna swojej żony do momentu, aż się z nią ożeni? - To się dzieje w każdym kraju, synu... - är det verkligen sant pappa att i vissa länder så känner inte mannen sin fru när de gifter sig? - Nej min son! Inte i vissa länder utan i alla länder! – Är det sant, pappa, att i vissa delar av Afrika känner inte mannen sin hustru innan de gift sig? – Så är det i alla länder, min son. Een man en zijn zoontje lopen over straat. Vraagt het jongetje aan zijn vader “Papa, klopt het dat je als man in Afrika je vrouw pas leert kennen nadat je getrouwd bent met haar?” Waarop zijn vader... - E adevarat, taticule, ca in unele parti ale Africii Barbatul nu isi cunoaste sotia decit dupa Casatorie? - La fel se intimpla in toate tarile! Pepíček se ptá: „Tatínku, je pravda, že ve Východní Asii muž neví, koho si bere až do dne svatby?” Tatínek: „Víš Pepíčku, to asi platí ve všech zemích stejně.”
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— Убили сте жена си, а не любовника! Защо? Durante un juicio el juez le pregunta al acusado: - ¿Entonces usted me dice que llegó a su casa antes de lo habitual y encontró a su esposa en la cama con otro hombre? - ¡Correcto, señor juez! -... "Angeklagter, warum haben Sie ihre Frau und nicht ihren Liebhaber erschossen?", fragte der Richter. "Weil es einfacher ist, eine Frau umzubringen als jeden Tag einen anderen Mann!" No meio de um julgamento: — O senhor confirma — diz o juiz, — que chegou a casa mais cedo naquele dia e que encontrou a sua mulher na cama com outro homem? — Correto, meritíssimo — diz o réu, de... - Czy oskarżony moze wytłumaczyć dlaczego zabił żonę a nie jej kochanka? - Wysoki sądzie, doszedłem do wniosku, że lepiej zabić jedną kobietę, niż co tydzień kolejnego mężczyznę.
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There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."
Една мутра пътува със своя джип. На една блондинка много и се подигравали, че е много глупава и тя решила да си боядиса косата черна. Некој овчар си пасел овци,дошол некој цајкан без униформа и му рекол: Blonde in Disguise Blonde Counting Sheep There was a typical blonde. She had long, blondehair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all theblonde jokes. One day she decided to get makeover. She cutand dyed her hair brunette and went drivingdown a country road, searching for someonewho would appreciate her for her intelligence. When she came... A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet.... A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I... One day a blonde woman named Sally finally got tired of everyone assuming she was stupid because of her hair color. She decided to go to the hairdressers and have her hair dyed brown. Feeling quite... Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to... A blonde got tired of everyone treating her like she was dumb so she decided to dye her hair brown. She went out and about in the world to prove that she was smart. She came upon a sheep farmer and... A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she... блондинка решила доказать, что она не дура. для этого она... Gefärbte Blondine beim Schäfer Der Schäfer und der TT Fahrer Eine Blondine, genervt von den ewigen Blondinenwitze, lässt sich die Haare rot färben und fährt aufs Land. Auf dem Weg dorthin trifft sie einen Hirten mit seiner Schafherde. Sie sagt ihm: "Wenn ich herausfinde wieviele Schafe Du hast darf ich eines mitnehmen, alles klar?" Der Hirte: "Ok"... Un touriste en train de faire une randonnée en montagne croise un troupeau de moutons avec son berger. Ils discutent de tout et de rien et sur la proposition du touriste en viennent à faire un... Η ΒΑΜΕΝΗ ΞΑΝΘΙΑ Cansada das brincadeiras sobre sua burrice, a loira resolveu pintar o cabelo de preto. Para comemorar o novo visual, foi dar uma volta de carro pelo campo e la encontrou um pastor de ovelhas. — Bom dia, senhor pastor! Que lindo rebanho o senhor tem! — Obrigado! — Se eu acertar quantas ovelhas há... Do bacy wypasającego owieczki przyjeżdża człowiek w średnim wieku. Po wyjściu z samochodu pyta: - Baco, co tu robicie? Wypasacie owce? - Tak, panocku. - A baco, jak wam powiem ile macie tych... Det var en gång en blondin, som ville prova om det var sant det som folk säger om blondiner. Hon färgade håret kastanjebrunt, och åkte ut på landet, och stannade vid en bondgård. - Nu skall jag... Er was er eens een herder die met zijn schapen langs de kant van de weg liep. Plots dook er een spiksplinternieuwe Cherokee Jeep op, bestuurd door een man in een Hugo Boss hemd, Nike baskets, Rolex... Een dom blondje loopt op de Veluwe en ziet daar een herder met zijn schaapjes lopen. "Oh wat leuk" zegt het domme blondje tegen de herder, "ik wil ook zo'n lief schaapje hebben!" "Nou, zegt de... En blondine blev træt af alle de blondine vittigheder der var, og farvede sit hår sort, og kørte en tur på landet. Hun kom forbi en bondegård, med en mark med får. Hun holdte ind og spurgte... Rigtig blondine? Blondinen er træt af at blive kaldt dum så hun tager en sort paryk på og kører sig en tur i bilen. Hun kommer til et vejkryds hvor der står en hyrde med sine får. Blondinen vil... Sikke et får En blondine ville bevise over for sig selv og for andre, at blondiner var knap så dumme som folk troede, så hun farvde sit hår brunt og drog ud for at bevise. Da hun var kommet godt ud... Blondinen på landet Så var der blondinen der farvede sit hår og kørte en tur på landet. Efter et stykke tid blev hun stoppet af en hel masse får der blokerede vejen. Blondinen fandt frem til... Det var en gang en blondine som var lei av alle blondine-vitsene, og farget derfor håret brunt for å se om hun bli smartere. Litt senere på dagen kjørte hun forbi en bondegård med sauer. Hun sa til... Jede přebarvená blondýnka na kole a potká baču se stádem ovcí. V dobrém rozmaru navrhne: „Když ti povím, kolik máš přesně ovcí, dáš mi jednu?” Bača souhlasí. Exblondýnka mu to řekne, strefí se a...
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