Most Popular Jokes

Are your legs made of Nutella?
Because I'd love to spread them!

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Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her кill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
Actually, it's kangaroo!

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Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.

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Q: What's the scariest thing about a white man in prison?
A: You know that he actually did it.

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Q: What is the difference between оrаl and аnаl sеx?
A: Оrаl sеx makes your day and Аnаl sеx makes your whole weak.

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Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.

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Q: How did the blonde кill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.

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PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?"
Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."

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Yo mama so ugly when she auditioned for a horror movie they sent her to a professional!

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Yo mama so fат she was the comet that destroyed dusty depot.

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For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars.
Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?"
"Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy.
"Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father.
"Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!"
"A rifle? What fer?"
"Suppos'n one day yew сuм home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck.
"W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"

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Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sеx. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."

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Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean.
The tsunamis were killing people.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.
"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."
"Oh, that's awful!"
"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

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Golf jokes

Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!

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NOTE: This joke is only for those who recently had a brain transplant.
DO NOT read ahead unless you don't mind being offended.
You're still reading this, aren't you, аsshоlе?

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Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a dirтy politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.

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Q: Why do more niggеrs get hit by cars in the winter?
A: They're easier to spot.

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