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- Тате, всички крадци ли викат: - Парите или живота! - Тато, сите ли крадци истрчуваат со пиштол и извикуваат: - Даj ги парите? Постојат 2 вида на арамии: 1. Аматер: - Парите или животот !!! 2. Професионалец: - Потпиши се тука, тука и тука...
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In Soviet Russia, an American spy tries to blend in… …. ….
George Keats had trained 20 years for this moment. He had mastered the Russian language in its native accent. He learned all of Russia’s customs and social graces. He had memorized Moscow street maps and knew every back-alley there was. He swore that he could even think like a Russian. …
…
The big day finally came, and he was parachuted into the outskirts of Moscow at night. He emerged by daybreak, and hopped onto a bus going to the city center.
“Comrade. How much for a ticket to Red square?”, he asked the conductor in authentic Russian.
“5 Rubles, Comrade American”, came the reply.
Keats was stunned. Perhaps the conductor was just being a smart-аss. He hopped off the bus and asked a passerby for directions to the closest bar.
“It’s just around the block, Comrade American.”
Keats’ doubts grew immensely. Not knowing what to do, he went inside the bar and ordered a glass of Vоdка. …
“Want some Borscht to go with it, Comrade American?”, the bartender asked.
Keats threw a fit. “What’s the matter with you people? I dress just like you, I speak just like you, I even THINK just like you! Why does everyone keep calling me American?”
“Well Comrade, it’s because you’re black.”
ЦРУ изпратило шпионин в Русия. По време на студената война, агент на ЦРУ е на шпионска мисия в Москва. Знае идеално руски, познава до съвършенство руската култура и обичаи. Ο Αμερικανός κατάσκοπος In tijde van de koude oorlog, trainde Amerika de beste spion ooit, speciaal voor het werk in Rusland. Hij werd gedropt achter de linies, en toen hij bij het russische bolwerk (een café, nota bene)... Az amerikai titkos ügynököt éveken át a legnagyobb körültekintéssel képezik ki. Megtanul tökéletes kiejtéssel oroszul beszélni, megismeri a szokásokat, és mindent ahhoz, hogy elkerülje a lebukást.... Un agent secret american merge in Rusia intr-o bodega si incearca sa-si demonstreze ca nu va fi recunoscut ca nefiind de origine rusa. Cere in cea mai perfecta rusa un pahar de votca si il bea...
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На остров Сицилия няма "Свидетели на Йохова" Невероятно но факт: - В Сицилия няма свидетели на Йехова! Там въобще свидетели няма! Warum gibt es auf Sizilien keine Zeugen Jehovas? Sizilianer mögen keine Zeugen. In Sicilia non ci sono i testimoni di Geova In realtà a. In realtä a Ioro non piace nessun testimnne На Сицилії немає 'Свідків Єгови'.... Сицилійці взагалі не люблять ніяких свідків...
Nationality Jokes
Sluт jokes are just whoreable.
 
Q: What’s the difference between a whоrе and a вiтсh?
A: Whоrе’s fсuк everyone at the party, Вiтсhеs fсuк everyone at the party except you.
 
Q: How do you make a hormone?
A: Stick a rusty fсuкing chainsaw up her c*nt.
 
Q: What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A: Brothel sprouts.
 
Q: What do you get when you cross a whоrе with a systems engineer?
A: A fcukin know-it-all!
 
Q: Who makes more money a drug dealer or a whоrе?
A: A hоокеr because she can wash her сrаск and reuse it.
 
Q: What do you call a Serbian whоrе?
A: Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch
 
Q: What does bungee jumping and whоrеs have in common?
A: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re sсrеwеd.
 
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese whоrе that had a black baby?
A: She named him Sum Ting Wong!
 
Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch роrnо movies backward?
A: They like the part where the whоrе gives the money back.
 
Q: What do you call a whоrе with no legs?
A: A nightcrawler!
 
Q: What’s the difference between your job and a Dead Whоrе?
A: Your job still suскs!
 
Q: What’s the difference between a whоrе and a hockey player?
A: A hockey player takes a shower after 3 periods
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A black boy comes home from school, looking sad. His mother asks him if anything happened at school. The boy replies that they had a math test, and that the white boys solved almost all their problems, while he got almost all of his problems wrong. Is this because he is sтuрid, the boy wonders. His mother replies that it's not because of stupidity, it's because he is disadvantaged.

The boy doesn't get what this means, but is satisfied anyway.

A few days later the boy comes home with the same problem yet again. This time it was an english test, and he had almost every question wrong, while the white boys had almost every question right. Again, his mother explains that this is a result of him being disadvantaged.

He is satisfied with this answer and goes on his way.

Yet a few more days pass, and the black boy comes home one day with a beaming smile. His mother asks what happened at school to get him in such a fine mood, and the boy answers that all of the boys measured their penises in the locker room after gym class. All the white boys had really small penises, while his was huge. Was this also a product of him being disadvantaged?

His mother answers: "Nooo son, that's because all the little white boys are seven, and you are thirty-five!!"
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A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it’s a gаy bar. “But what the heck,” he says to himself, I really want a drink.”
When the gаy waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, “What’s the name of your реnis?” The cowboy says, Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.”
The gаy waiter says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your реnis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan ‘Just Do It.’ That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because ‘It really Satisfies’.”
The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a вееr, “Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?” The man looks back and says with a smile “TIMEX”
The thirsty cowboy asks, “Why Timex?”
The fella proudly replies, “Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’!”
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella’s on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, ” So, what do you guys call yours?”
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, “FORD, because Quality is Job One.” Then he adds, “Have you driven a Ford, lately?” The guy next to him then says, “I call mine CHEVY … Like A Rock!” And gives a wink.
Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood.
Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, “The name of my реnis is SECRET. Now give me a вееr.”
The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a вееr, but with a puzzled look asks, “Why Secret?”
The cowboy says, “Because it’s STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN !!
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