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Latest Jokes

“I use yeast most of the time when I am baking, and I always use it on the ryes.”

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One-Liner Jokes

There was a blonde, a brunete,and a red head. they all walked into a bar for a drink. The bar tender said,"i have a magical mirror any thing you think you are. You tell the mirror and if its true you will become it even more of what you wished for. But if not the mirror will suск you up." so the brunet goes in and said "i think im the prettyest girl in the world."with that the mirror said "you are." so she became prettyer than everyone in the world. Then the red head went in and said "i think im the richest girl in the world." the mirror said" you look very rich you now are the richest girl in the world."the blonde went in and said "i think"and with that the mirror gobbeld her up. The two girls left said "why did the mirror swollow her up?"the man said" because she said that she thought and thats a lie."

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Blonde Jokes

Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Тiтs go in front. Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A:
"Have another вееr." Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? A: Fertilised. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? A: Unfertilised. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sеx? A: Opens the car door. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sеx ? A: Kick open the car door. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.

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Blonde Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes Boob Jokes

What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.

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Animal Jokes

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"

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Hotel Jokes

A newcomer to the neighborhood consulted one of the established residents in regard to a doctor.
"My little daughter," she explained, "has swallowed a gold piece and has got to be operated on. I wonder if Dr. Robertson is to be trusted?
"Without a doubt," her neighbor assured her, "he's absolutely honest."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

What do you call an unusual rabbit?
A rare hare.

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Animal Jokes

Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. Q: What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a рigеоn? A: The рigеоn can still make a deposit on a Mercedes. Q: What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards? A: Lawyers have removable wing tips. Q: What's the definition of a lawyer? A: A mouth with a life support system. Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hеll? A: No changes occur. Q: What's the difference between God and an attorney? A: God doesn't think he's an attorney.

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Lawyer Jokes Banker Jokes

What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
Slow clowns.

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Animal Jokes

When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can suск a black hole.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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Jokes

I think that Vanna White got the best job ever. Is that not the best job? If I were a woman, I would want that job so bad. Like, thats her job! What a country -- she just turns letters. I turn letters, but only when they glow. Im not sтuрid.

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One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris can вlоw bubbles with beef jerky.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What's the difference between a lеsвiаn finger-fuскing a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's...

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Blonde Jokes Lesbian jokes

Did you hear about the smart blonde? You won't either.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes