Newest jokes - Page 274

Relationship status - table for one but drinks for two.

77 0

Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Q: What happens when you give Viаgrа to lawyers?
A: They grow taller!

32 0

Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Political Jokes Viagra jokes Lawyer Jokes Sexist Jokes

Priest walks into a hotel reception and says 'I have booked a room for the night, but I hope the роrnоgrарhy on the television is disabled'.
The receptionist say 'You wеirdо, its normal роrn!'

37 0

Religion jokes Sex Jokes Priest Jokes Hotel Jokes Priest Jokes

If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.

37 0

Science jokes Math Jokes

Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

38 0

Democrat jokes

I called that Rаре Advice Line earlier today.
Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

37 0

Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes

A tomato walks into work and a potato says:
"Hello, Tomatoe..."
He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"?
"Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"

72 0

Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.
He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear.
She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

35 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Birthday Jokes

How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire?
Both of them.

38 0

Money jokes God Jokes Men jokes Lawyer Jokes Tax jokes

Little Johnny is sitting in class, the teacher is going over vocabulary words.
She asks the class to use a word in a sentence.
The teacher says the word is "contagious".
Johnny is waving his arm up and down, no other students have their arm up.
The teacher figures there is no way Johnny can come up something rude for this word, and she calls his name to use the word in a sentence.
Johnny says the other day, my dad and I were driving down the freeway and woman was painting a billboard, she was using a very small brush.
The teacher says "what does this have to do the word contagious?"
Johnny says "my dad turned to me and said: 'Son it is going to take that "сunт-ages" to paint that billboard with that little brush!'"
The teacher says, "never again!"

78 0

School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Student jokes Dad Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What comes before 8?
A: My school bus usually.

36 0

School Jokes

Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.

74 0

Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Quasimodo, the demented веll ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant веll ringer.
One man applied for the job but he had no arms.
"How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo.
"That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the веll and banged it with his head.
BONG!!!
"That's amazing!" said Quasimodo.
"Could you show me that again?"
"Sure!" said the man and he ran at the веll again but he missed the swinging веll and fell out of the веll tower.
A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?"
Quasimodo came out and said...
"I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A ВЕLL!"

15 0

Office and Work Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes

How can you tell if you have acne?
If the blind can read your face.

37 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.

0 0

Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Wine jokes

A little boy asked his mother:
Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.

37 0

Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

1998: Don't get in the car with strangers.
2008: Don't meet people from the internet.
2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)

0 0

Car and driving jokes Computer Jokes

3 things which change women:
1) I love U
2) I liquidated to your account
3) U have lost weight
The last one had been some fatalities!

72 0

Jokes about Women Money jokes Men vs Women Jokes Love Jokes

A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb.
They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions.
On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?"
The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?"
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?"
The blonde responded, "20, right?"
Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "Is it 3?" said the blonde.
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"

37 0

Blonde Jokes Math Jokes

First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?”
Second soldier: “No way, Jose!”
First soldier: “Whyever not?”
Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”

37 0

Food Jokes Military Jokes Chocolate Jokes

Latest Jokes