Latest Jokes

Christmas Jokes Dog jokes
It says:
"Press Any Key"
It means:
"Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
It says:
"Press A Key"
(This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.)
It says:
"Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error
No. 1A4-2546512430E" It means:
"... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."
It says:
"Installing program to C:\...."
It means:
"... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."
It says:
"Please insert disk 11"
It means:
"Because I know dаrn well there are only 10 disks."
It says:
"Not enough memory"
It means:
"I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K."
It says:
"Cannot read from drive D:...."
It means:
"... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."
It says:
"Please Wait...."
It means:
"... Indefinitely."
It says:
"Directory does not exist...."
It means:
".... any more. Whoops."
It says:
"The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means:
".... Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."
Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Beauty is in the eye of the вееr holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiот. Some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
Medicine.
God must love sтuрid people; He made so many.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
Procrastinate Now!
I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
Thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
Commitment for a pig.
The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
Make your words sweet & tender today, for tomorrow you
May have to eat them.
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