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Latest Jokes

I said, “I’m working late tonight so I won’t be home until about midnight”
My wife said, “That’s the fifth time this week. Are you cheating on me?”
I said, “Er .. no .. why would you think that?”
She said, “Because you’re a fuскing milkman”

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Office and Work Jokes Cheating Jokes

I often stare at a prominent sign on the wall at my Gym that declares “NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE”.
And every time I think “Whoever wrote that never tried to cancel their membership.”

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Fitness jokes

A couple drives to the hospital because the wife is in labor. The doctor alerts them that she invented a machine that will transfer some of the labor pain to the father, if they'd like. The husband eagerly says,
"Give it all to me!" The couple returns home with a bouncing baby boy, only to find the mailman dead on their lawn.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Relationship Jokes

Why did Horse Santa put his dentist on the naughty list?
You don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

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Dentist Jokes Horse jokes

About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down and let the other passengers get some sleep.
No amount of reasoning seemed to help, until I thought of the solution that actually worked. I picked up the PA mike in the cockpit and announced, "Children, this is the captain speaking. Don't make me stop this airplane and come back there!"

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Military Jokes Aviation Jokes

Steve complained to his friend Al that lоvемакing with his wife was becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"Неll, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Friendship Jokes

The bartender says, “Go home. We don’t serve faster-than-light-particles here.”
A tachyon walks into a bar.

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Bar and Bartender Jokes

Science built skyscrapers and airplanes
But only religion can bring the two together.

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Science jokes Aviation Jokes

A politician asked a well known author, "Did you know that 'Sumac' and 'Sugar' are the only two words in English, that begin with the letters 'Su' but are pronounced like 'Shu'?"
The author replied, "Sure."

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Political Jokes Lawyer Jokes Superhero Jokes

Government planed to implement Sеx Education in school.
School authority wanted to send our George’s wife Lucy for special training course in Sеx Education.
Lucy:
“No Sir..! I don’t want to take part in that course.”
Principal:
“No..! But why ..?!”
Lucy:
“Somebody told me yesterday.. The Final Exam will be Оrаl!”

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School Jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes Superhero Jokes

You can philosophize, talk, and argue all you want about same-sеx marriage, but heterosexual people who have been married (say) “It’s the same sеx all the time.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

Just went to a Halloween under 16’s disco.
I told everyone that I came dressed as an old man.
I lied.

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Men jokes Halloween Jokes

YO momma is so old, I slit her throat and dust came out!

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Old People Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Preparing for the most important presentation of his life, a sales rep went to a psychiatrist. "I'll implant a hypnotic suggestion in your mind," said the shrink. "Just say 'one-two-three,' and you'll give the presentation of your life. However, do not say 'one-two-three-four,' because it will cause you to freeze up and make a fool of yourself."
The sales rep was ecstatic. He tried it at home and gave a fabulous presentation. He tried it at work with his co-workers, and got a standing ovation. Then came the big day. Everything was set up in the boardroom and the CEO signaled him to start. The sales rep whispered under his breath, "One-two-three."
Then the CEO asked,
"What did you say 'one-two-three' for?"

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Office and Work Jokes Business jokes

If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be “Alien vs Predator”?

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Kids Jokes Military Jokes Alien Jokes

Someone just knocked on the door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans.
I said "Fuск that, with my luck I'd probably win one."

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining
And says "ladies, is anything ok?"

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Jewish Jokes

A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *РООF*
He disappeared without a tres.
**edit Front page??? Thats Punbelieveable!

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Mexican jokes

What do you give a deaf fisherman? A herring aid.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors:
1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is

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Coronavirus Jokes