Latest Jokes

One evening a husband and wife were in bed.
The husband was reading a book, and the wife was watching TV. The husband reaches over and puts his hand in his wife's раnтiеs then withdraws his hand. The wife was surprised by this and thought perhaps her husband was in the mood for a little love. A short time later the husband again reaches into his wife's раnтiеs then withdraws his hand. Now the wife is almost sure that her husband is in the mood. She decides to wait for him to touch her a third time and then she will know for sure. The husband repeats the same move again. She leaves the bed, removes her clothes, and returns ready for sеx. Her husband, still reading his book, is surprised when she says:
"Dear, I’m all ready!"
"For what? "
"Well, for sеx, dear! You've fingered me three times in the last 5 minutes, and now I'm ready!"
"Huh? Sеx?? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages of my book."
Мъж и жена в леглото, четат книги. C'est l'histoire de ce couple, marié depuis 15 ans. Ένα ζευγάρι παντρεμένων είναι ξαπλωμένοι στο κρεβάτι. Ο σύζυγος διαβάζει την εφημερίδα του. Σε μια στιγμή βάζει το δάχτυλό του στο μ***ι της γυναίκας του! Młoda mężatka skarży się swojej matce, że jej mąż wcale wieczorem nie wykazuje nią zainteresowania, tylko ciągle czyta książki. Matka chcąc pomóc córce stwierdziła, że jako bardziej doświadczona w... Mannen och kvinnan hade varit ovänner en längre tid och det hade inte varit mycket med det sexuella... En kväll när dom båda låg i sängen och läste, så kände kvinnan mannens hand mellan benen och... Mann und Frau liegen abends im Bett. Der Mann liest ein Buch. Plötzlich fässt er unverhofft seiner Frau zwischen die Beine. Sie: "Oh, das war schön! Sag bloß, du hast endlich mal wieder Lust auf... Mannen läser en bok i sängen med frun liggandes bredvid. Han börjar ta henne på musen. - Åh, vill du ha sex? - Nej, jag vill bara blöta fingret så jag kan vända sida… Vítima da rotina proporcionada por vinte anos de vida em comum, aquele casal já estava fazendo aniversário de abstinência sexual. Todas as noites, o marido sentava-se na cama, com um livro apoiado... L’uomo è sul letto e legge un libro, allunga la mano verso la moglie e la tocca fra le cosce. Lei chiede: – caro vuoi sesso? – No, bagno il dito per girare pagina Un homme au lit avec sa femme, il lit un magazine. L'homme envoie sa main sous la jupe de sa femme. Femme: Mais qu'est ce que tu fais? L'homme: Du calme je ne fais que mouiller mes doigts pour... Sotul si sotia stau seara in pat. Sotul citeste o carte. La un moment dat sotul isi pune mana intre picioarele femeii. Ea il intreaba fericita: - Vrei sex? - Nu,vroiam doar sa-mi ud degetele sa... Mannen läser en bok i sängen och har frun bredvid sig. Han börjar helt plötsligt ta henne lite försiktigt på musen. Frun överlyckligt: - Åh, vill du ha sex? Mannen: - Neej, jag vill bara blöta...
Marriage and Family Jokes
Шефа ми пристигна с ново Порше на работа. Викам му "яка кола". Сегодня наш начальник приехал на работу, на новой машине... - Директоре многу ви е убав новио Мерцедес. O empregado esta em serviço, quando chega o chefe, num lindo carro zero. O empregado não se contém, olha pra ele e diz: A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car. "That is amazing" the employee was fascinated. "That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year". Директоре, многу убав Мерцедес сте купиле! - Ааа фала. Ако работиш и натаму напорно како до сега, догодина и на жена ми ке и' купам ваков. - Patrón, me gusta mucho su auto nuevo. - Muchas gracias, si trabajas duro y con mucho esfuerzo.... el próximo será mejor. Pomoni ajoi työpaikan pihaan upouudella bemarilla. "Hieno auto" huudahdin. "Kiitos! Työskentele ahkerasti ja tee ylitöitä niin saan vielä hienomman ensi vuonna"
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