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Latest Jokes

Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Military Jokes

Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.

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Dark Humor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry...
He had selfie steam issues.

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One-Liner Jokes

The judge reviews the divorce case very carefully and issues his judgement. "Mr Smith, I am going to give your wife $750 a month."

Mr. Smith's replies, "That's very nice of you, judge. And every once in a while I will send her a little extra too."

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Judge and Court Jokes

If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you.
On facebook!

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Chuck Norris Jokes Facebook Jokes

Bobbie to neighbor: “What are you getting your children for Christmas?”
Neighbor: “Well, if my husband doesn’t stop staying out until three in the morning, I’ll give them a new dad.”

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Christmas Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: Why did Dаfт Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"

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Sex Jokes

Do you know why Orange is the official color of the University of Tennessee?
So they can hunt on Saturday, go to the game Sunday, and pick up trash along the roads on Monday.

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Redneck jokes

When someone says to me great minds think alike.
I just look at them and think, ‘you dirтy ваsтаrd’.

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Funny Quotes

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it's all heart.

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Valentine's Day Jokes

A trooper stops a car and he tells the driver he stopped him for speeding.
The irate driver says, "You're nuts, I wasn't speeding!"
The driver's wife says, "Oh you old fool you are always driving too fast!"
The driver yells at his wife, "shut up, old lady."
The trooper is taken aback by the exchange but tells the driver he also is in violation the seat belt law.
The driver once again complains that he was wearing his seatbelt.
The wife states, "You never wear your seatbelt."
Driver "I am going to smack you if you dont shut up".
Not wanting a fight the trooper asked the wife, "Does he always talk to you that way?"
"ONLY WHEN HE'S DRUNК," the wife states.

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Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Police Officer Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

What do you call a black woman who got an abortion?
A member of crimestoppers of america.

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Jokes about Women USA Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No niggеr could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes

I went for a self-defence class last night.
The instructor said, “I want you to take me by surprise and attack me.”
So, when I saw him in Sainsbury’s the next day, I threw a tin of beans at his head.
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Social Network Jokes Facebook Jokes Funny Riddles Sick and Death Jokes Stupid Jokes

Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Q: What do you call a computer expert?
A: A control-alt-elite.

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Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes

When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't sтuрid.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Stupid Jokes

What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside?
Coconut.... What were you thinking?

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Dirty jokes

Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just маsтurватing.

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Masturbation jokes

blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."

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Blonde Jokes Cheating Jokes