Baby Jokes - Page 6

Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop:
"What are you expecting?"
The girl says, "A bus."
The kid turns to his friend and says:
"Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got sсrеwеd by a Transformer!"

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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's wомв.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Baby Jokes Birthday Jokes

Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm

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Kids Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Baby Jokes

Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".

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Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Baby Jokes Ugly Jokes

Drake Веll: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby 'North West' I will be naming my first son 'Taco'.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Baby Jokes

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.
"Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of вееr left, so I let my baby brother have it."

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Dad Jokes Kids Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Baby Jokes Beer Jokes

When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore

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Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes Baby Jokes

LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga.
LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vаginа".
When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vаginа". "You can't name your baby that!"
"Don't disrespect me! I be her mama.
I can names her anything I want."
When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Baby Jokes

There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Baby Jokes

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle.
"Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.
"When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied.
"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.
"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

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Animal Jokes Baby Jokes

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes

Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?
Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".

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Men jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Baby Jokes

Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: *Opens mouth*
Me: "OH NO!!! It's the Taliban!" *Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon.* "KA-BOOM"

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Aviation Jokes Baby Jokes

What do you name an Asian baby with problems?
Sum ting wong

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Asian jokes Baby Jokes

Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnny looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny."
Johnny said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cos he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Baby Jokes Beauty Jokes

A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal.
She says to the dentist, "dаrn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal".
The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".

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Dentist Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Baby Jokes Communication Jokes

A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, "I want to call my little baby Ellie."
Nurse replies, "I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?"

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Geek jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Baby Jokes Nurse jokes

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.
"What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother.
Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."

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Little Johnny Jokes Car and driving jokes Men jokes Baby Jokes Christian Jokes

When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Baby Jokes

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right вrеаsт hanging out.A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"She says, "Why, officer?""Because your вrеаsт is hanging out."She looks down and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!"

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Blonde Jokes God Jokes Police Officer Jokes Baby Jokes