Dark Humor Jokes

Most popular in this category

What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Wonder why the British are so good at chess?
They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess?
They lost two towers.

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Dark Humor Jokes USA Jokes American Jokes

Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?
There is one at the bottom that is still alive.
Whats worse then that?
He has to eat his way out.
Whats worse then that?
He goes back for more.

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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes Dead baby jokes

Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’

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God Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a реdорhilе walk into a bar, and that's just one person!

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Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Priest Jokes

Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

What do you call a old snowman?
Water.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.

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Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?
A: Because his wife died.

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Dark Humor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A school in the United States is on fire.
One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them.
After half of an hour the upper fireman asks:
Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids?
Oh dамn, I thought these were the burnt ones.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes

My favorite movie is Titanic...
...my favorite character is the ice berg.

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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him:
"May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!"
Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny:
"Have you heard your Granny's wish?
So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac!
Those 4 steps will not save ya!"

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Sick and Death Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Birthday Jokes

I found a wallet today, as a good Christian I thought "what would Jesus do?" ... so I turned it to wine.

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Dark Humor Jokes Wine jokes Christian Jokes

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes

My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool.
I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..."
"That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.

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Food Jokes Dead baby jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting

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Money jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dating Jokes

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
- It was dead
Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree?
- It was stapled to the first one.
Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree?
- Peer pressure

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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.

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Sick and Death Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Police Officer Jokes