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Dentist Jokes

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Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health?
A: A baseball bat.
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Dentist Jokes Sports Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Twenty-eight years ago, Herman James, a Tennessee mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in boot camp, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon, an Army barber sheared his head. On his second day, the Army issued him a tooth brush.
That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth.
On his third day, he was issued a jоск strap...
The Army is still looking for him.
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Military Jokes Men jokes Dentist Jokes Hairdresser Jokes
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the redneck.
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Dentist Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Redneck jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: Because it had Bluetooth.
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Computer Jokes Dentist Jokes Nerd jokes
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
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Cannibal Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dentist Jokes
Große Löcher in den Zähnen - Господи, в кътника ви виждам огромна дупка, огромна дупка! - възкликва зъболекарят. Der Zahnarzt: Зъболекар, надвесен над устата на пациент: - Avatkaa suunne, sanoi hammaslääkäri potilaalleen. - Voihan nenä, siellä on suurin koskaan näkemäni reikä, suurin koskaan näkemäni reikä, suurin koskaan näkemäni reikä. - Uskotaan, ei tarvitse...
"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient.
"Dear God!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen."
"OK Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice."
"I didn't!" said the dentist. "That was the echo."
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Dentist Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sеx lives.
Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."
Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft."
Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?"
Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?"
"Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Dentist Jokes
Една вечер след като семейна двойка си легнали, мъжът нежно потупал съпругата си по рамото. На забар Squeaky Clean Doctor's Appointment Tomorrow Chiste del ginecólogo y el dentista Zahnarzt-Termin Ραντεβού στον γυναικολόγο Ραντεβού με τον οδοντίατρο Тя: Ночь. Мужу не спится, хочется, и он теребит жену. Она отвечает: One night, a couple is in the bed and the husband smoothly caresses their wife's arm... the wife is turned and she tells him: Un couple vient de se coucher. L'homme dit à sa femme : - Скъпи, гинекологът ми каза, две седмици никакъв секс! Ένα βράδυ ένα ζευγάρι έχει πέσει για ύπνο. Ο άνδρας αρχίζει να χαϊδεύει τη γυναίκα του απαλά. Αυτή γυρίζει και του λέει : Un soir, alors qu’un couple se couche, le mari commence à caresser le bras de sa femme. Elle se retourne et lui dis: "Je suis désolé chéri, j’ai un rendez-vous chez le gynécologue demain et je veux rester ‘fraîche’." Le mari déçu se retourne. Quelques minutes plus tard, il se tourne de nouveau... Una pareja se acuesta en la cama, y el marido empieza a tocar a su esposa. La mujer se resiste y dice: - Lo siento amor, pero mañana temprano tengo cita con el ginecólogo y quiero estar fresca. Entonces el esposo le contesta: - Ok, pero con el dentista no tienes cita? Чоловік каже до жінки: — Люба, займімось любов’ю? Жінка: — Мені не можна, завтра до гінеколога йти! Чоловік образився, відвернувся до стінки. За декотрий час повертається й питає: — А до стоматолога тобі не треба? C'est un couple qui vient de se coucher. Le type a vraiment envie de faire l'amour. Mais sa compagne réplique qu'elle a un rendez-vous chez le gynécologue et elle veut rester fraîche. Un peu plus... Mitt i natten vaknar mannen, kryper ner till hustrun och gör några försiktiga närmanden. - Nej, det går inte, säger frun bestämt. Imorgon ska jag till gynekologen. Mannen tänker efter, kryper... Eheleute liegen im Bett und er hat Lust auf Sex. Seine Frau lehnt ab, weil sie am nächsten Tag einen Gynäkologentermin hat und deshalb möchte sie jetzt nicht. Er dreht sich zur Seite und versucht... Mann og kone ligger i senga en kveld når mannen prikker kona på skulderen og beginner å klappe armen hennes. Kona snur seg og sier «Beklager kjære. Jeg skal til gynekologen i morgen og vil være ren... Ein Ehepaar ist zu Bett gegangen und nach einer Weile deutet er an, dass er Sex haben will. Sie lehnt ab: "Ich habe morgen einen Termin beim Gynäkologen und deshalb mag ich jetzt nicht." Er dreht... Emiel ligt al de halve nacht te woelen. Op een gegeven moment maakt hij zijn vrouw wakker en zegt: "Schatje, ik heb zo'n zin om met je te vrijen?" Zijn vrouw zegt: "Uhhh .... nee liefje, dat kan... Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said? Na cama, o sujeito começa a acariciar a mulher, mas ela o repele: — Sinto muito, querido, mas amanhã eu tenho uma consulta no ginecologista e... — Já entendi — diz o marido, contrariado. E depois... „Schatz, mein Frauenarzt sagt wir können erstmal keinen Sex haben.“ …„und was sagt dein Zahnarzt?“ Para nowożeńców leży w łóżku wieczorem, kiedy facet nabrał ochoty na seks, pochyla się w stronę żony i puka ją lekko w ramię. Ona odwraca się do niego i mówi: - Nie możemy się dzisiaj kochać, rano... Na, Schatz, wie wär’s… wollen wir heute Abend mal wieder…? - Bitte heute nicht, Du weißt doch, dass ich morgen einen Termin beim Frauenarzt habe! - Na ja, aber Du hast doch nicht auch noch einen... Un uomo si sveglia eccitatissimo nel mezzo della notte. Sveglia la moglie e le propone una sveltina. Ma la moglie risponde: - 'Domani ho un appuntamento con il ginecologo. Sai che non voglio farlo... Eräänä iltana pariskunta makaa sängyllä ja aviomies taputtaa vaimoa olkapäälle ja alkaa hieromaan vaimon käsivartta. Vaimo kääntyy ja sanoo: - Sori kulta, tapaan huomenna gynekologin ja haluan... Det är natt, och mannen kryper närmare hustrun. - Det går inte, jag ska till gynekologen imorgon, säger frun. Han drar tillbaka handen. Men efter en liten stund frågar mannen hoppfullt. - Men du... Killen låg i sängen och trevade efter tjejen, i hopp om att få något. - Nej, inte ikväll sa tjejen. Jag ska till gynekologen imorgon bitti och vill vara någorlunda fräsch. Sedan blev det tyst,... Barbatul:Nevasta, nu ai chef de sex? Nevasta:Nu pot ca maine merg la ginecolog, B: (dupa 5 minute)Da la dentist te duci?? - Min gynekolog sa att jag inte kan ha sex på två veckor. - Jaha, men din tandläkare har väl inte avrådit från sex…
A lady tells her husband, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sеx for two weeks.”
He replies, “What did your dentist say?”
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Sex Jokes Gynecology Jokes Dentist Jokes
Even though telemarketers are slightly less beloved than dentists and tax auditors, that's the job my friend took during his summer vacation.
Halfway through one of his sales pitches, he heard a clicking at the other end of the line.
Thinking the man may have hung up, he asked, "Are you still there?"
"Yeah, still here," said the man.
"Sorry, I heard a click and I thought you'd been disconnected."
"No," the man said, "that would sound more like this."
He then proceeded to show me what it would sound like by slamming down the phone.
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Business jokes Dentist Jokes Customer service jokes Tax jokes
Двама били заедно, на сутринта дамата пита: Анестезиолог The Doctor's Convention Von Beruf Anästhesist Ο καταδρομέας.. но отдыхе он и она толком не успели познакомиться, но уже оказались... Un homme et une femme se rencontrent dans un bar. Ils discutent un peu et puis comme cela arrive dans la vie, ils décident d'aller chez la femme. Срещат се двама в бара, хихо-хахо, айде на "кафе". A guy and a girl met at a bar. Утро. Южный приморский город. Курортный роман. Интеллигентная пара (за 40) проснувшись, принимает водные процедуры. Une femme et un homme font l'amour. Après l'acte sexuel, l'homme demande : C'est un séminaire médical. Au cours d'un des nombreux banquets prévus, un médecin homme repère un médecin femme. Ils font connaissance, et elle accepte un rendez-vous pour un dîner au restaurant en tête à tête. Au restaurant, avant de s'asseoir à la... De båda läkarna hade träffats på en kongress. Han var från Göteborg och hon var från Stockholm. De åt middag tillsammans och fortsatte i baren för att avsluta kvällen på hans hotellrum och i hans... W czasie stosunku siostra dyżurna mówi do lekarza dyżurnego: - Panie doktorze, pan to chyba jest anestezjolog! - Zgadza się, skąd pani to wie? - odparł lekarz. Na to siostra: - Bo nic nie czuję! Buen dentista Un chico y una chica se encuentran en un bar. Se llevan tan bien que deciden ir a un lugar más privado, al apartamento de ella. Un par de copas más tarde, el chico se quita la camisa... Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!" De mødte hinanden på en bar og vågnede op i samme seng. Jeg ved hvad du laver sagde pigen, du er pædagog. Ja, men hvordan vidste du det? På dit lilla undertøj. Nå sagde han, så må du jo være... Due medici dopo un congresso scopano a letto. Alla fine lui dice: “Dall’abilita’ delle tue mani scommetto che sei ginecologa!”. Lei: “E tu anestesista!”. “Ma come fai a dirlo?”. Lei: “Non ho... Despues de hacer el amor ella le pregunta a el: - Papi tu eres anesteciologo?- El sorprendido dice: - Si,xq lo preguntas?- - Xq yo no senti un ****- Jajaja Efter sexualakten säger söta Sara: - Du Klas. Är du narkosläkare eller....? Klas: - Nej, hurså? Söta Sara: - Jag kände ju för fasen ingenting... Un couple a fait l'amour pour la première fois. Après tout ça, le mec demande à sa copine qui va se laver les mains : - Dis-moi, tu voudrais être infirmière plus tard ? - Non. Pourquoi ? - Parce... Nākamajā rītā pēc pirmās nakts. Viņa: ?Kāda īsti ir tava profesija?? Viņš: ?Anesteziologs.? Viņa: ?Tagad skaidrs, kāpēc es neko nejutu.? Σε ένα συνέδριο γιατρών ένας άντρας και μια γυναίκα κοιτάζονται επίμονα. Ο άντρας της προτείνει να πάνε για δείπνο και αυτή δέχεται. Στο εστιατόριο αυτή ζητάει συγγνώμη και πηγαίνει να πλύνει τα...
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.
The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist”
The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.”
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
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Dentist Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Love Jokes
A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"
"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
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Kids Jokes Men jokes Dentist Jokes Chocolate Jokes
Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation
Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away
Politician's Hymn: Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All
Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On
Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light
Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By
Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me
Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Religion jokes God Jokes Political Jokes Dentist Jokes
Dentist Μασέλα Бабичка отива на зъболекар. Ляга на стола и си вдига краката. Една баба отива на зъболекар. Сяда на стола и се разкрачва. En äldre dam kom in till tandläkaren, drog av sig trosorna, och hoppade upp i tandläkarstolen med benen isär. Tandläkaren blev pinsamt röd, men tog det med fattning. - Nu har du allt kommit fel,... Aquela senhora, sempre muito discreta, entra no consultório do dentista, levanta a saia, tira a calcinha e senta-se na cadeira com as pernas escancaradas. Indignado, o dentista consegue balbuciar:... Przychodzi baba do dentysty, siada w fotelu i od razu ciąga majtki. - Ależ droga pani! - protestuje lekarz - Ja jestem dentystą, ginekolog przyjmuje piętro niżej! - Nie ma żadnej pomyłki. -... To takhle přišla do zubní ordinace pěkná ženská, posadila se do křesla, vyhrnula sukni, sundala kalhotky a roznožila. Lékař ji jemně upozornil, že je u zubaře a ne u gynekologa. Načež odvětila:... Una mujer acude al dentista. Cuando llega su turno, se baja la falda, se baja las bragas, y se sienta en la silla, con las piernas abiertas. El dentista al entrar en la sala, se queda sorprendido y... Una donna va da stomatologa, si sdraia sulla sedia come dal ginecologo e il dottore: - "Signora, lei ha sbagliato il gabinetto... Non sono medico ginecologo!!! - "So benissimo dottore! ma solo lei...
An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said:
“Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.”
“I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”
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Sex Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Old People Jokes Dentist Jokes Gynecology Jokes
Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck мurdеr:
Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
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Redneck jokes Dentist Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
A: Dracula's dentist.
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Dentist Jokes Office and Work Jokes Vampire jokes
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed.
That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
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Dentist Jokes Religion jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes Communication Jokes
"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."
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Dentist Jokes Office and Work Jokes Management Jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes
What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.
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Dentist Jokes
In the courtroom where I worked as a court reporter, a dentist was called as a witness.
He took the oath a few feet from my desk, and I noticed his upraised arm was trembling, apparently from nervousness.
After he finished, I couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor. This won't hurt a bit."
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Dentist Jokes Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Една вечер след като семейна двойка си легнали, мъжът нежно потупал съпругата си по рамото. На забар Squeaky Clean Doctor's Appointment Tomorrow Chiste del ginecólogo y el dentista Zahnarzt-Termin Ραντεβού στον γυναικολόγο Ραντεβού με τον οδοντίατρο Тя: Ночь. Мужу не спится, хочется, и он теребит жену. Она отвечает: Un couple vient de se coucher. L'homme dit à sa femme : - Скъпи, гинекологът ми каза, две седмици никакъв секс! Ένα βράδυ ένα ζευγάρι έχει πέσει για ύπνο. Ο άνδρας αρχίζει να χαϊδεύει τη γυναίκα του απαλά. Αυτή γυρίζει και του λέει : A lady tells her husband, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sex for two weeks.” He replies, “What did your dentist say?” Un soir, alors qu’un couple se couche, le mari commence à caresser le bras de sa femme. Elle se retourne et lui dis: "Je suis désolé chéri, j’ai un rendez-vous chez le gynécologue demain et je veux rester ‘fraîche’." Le mari déçu se retourne. Quelques minutes plus tard, il se tourne de nouveau... Una pareja se acuesta en la cama, y el marido empieza a tocar a su esposa. La mujer se resiste y dice: - Lo siento amor, pero mañana temprano tengo cita con el ginecólogo y quiero estar fresca. Entonces el esposo le contesta: - Ok, pero con el dentista no tienes cita? Чоловік каже до жінки: — Люба, займімось любов’ю? Жінка: — Мені не можна, завтра до гінеколога йти! Чоловік образився, відвернувся до стінки. За декотрий час повертається й питає: — А до стоматолога тобі не треба? C'est un couple qui vient de se coucher. Le type a vraiment envie de faire l'amour. Mais sa compagne réplique qu'elle a un rendez-vous chez le gynécologue et elle veut rester fraîche. Un peu plus... Mitt i natten vaknar mannen, kryper ner till hustrun och gör några försiktiga närmanden. - Nej, det går inte, säger frun bestämt. Imorgon ska jag till gynekologen. Mannen tänker efter, kryper... Eheleute liegen im Bett und er hat Lust auf Sex. Seine Frau lehnt ab, weil sie am nächsten Tag einen Gynäkologentermin hat und deshalb möchte sie jetzt nicht. Er dreht sich zur Seite und versucht... Mann og kone ligger i senga en kveld når mannen prikker kona på skulderen og beginner å klappe armen hennes. Kona snur seg og sier «Beklager kjære. Jeg skal til gynekologen i morgen og vil være ren... Ein Ehepaar ist zu Bett gegangen und nach einer Weile deutet er an, dass er Sex haben will. Sie lehnt ab: "Ich habe morgen einen Termin beim Gynäkologen und deshalb mag ich jetzt nicht." Er dreht... Emiel ligt al de halve nacht te woelen. Op een gegeven moment maakt hij zijn vrouw wakker en zegt: "Schatje, ik heb zo'n zin om met je te vrijen?" Zijn vrouw zegt: "Uhhh .... nee liefje, dat kan... Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said? Na cama, o sujeito começa a acariciar a mulher, mas ela o repele: — Sinto muito, querido, mas amanhã eu tenho uma consulta no ginecologista e... — Já entendi — diz o marido, contrariado. E depois... „Schatz, mein Frauenarzt sagt wir können erstmal keinen Sex haben.“ …„und was sagt dein Zahnarzt?“ Para nowożeńców leży w łóżku wieczorem, kiedy facet nabrał ochoty na seks, pochyla się w stronę żony i puka ją lekko w ramię. Ona odwraca się do niego i mówi: - Nie możemy się dzisiaj kochać, rano... Na, Schatz, wie wär’s… wollen wir heute Abend mal wieder…? - Bitte heute nicht, Du weißt doch, dass ich morgen einen Termin beim Frauenarzt habe! - Na ja, aber Du hast doch nicht auch noch einen... Un uomo si sveglia eccitatissimo nel mezzo della notte. Sveglia la moglie e le propone una sveltina. Ma la moglie risponde: - 'Domani ho un appuntamento con il ginecologo. Sai che non voglio farlo... Eräänä iltana pariskunta makaa sängyllä ja aviomies taputtaa vaimoa olkapäälle ja alkaa hieromaan vaimon käsivartta. Vaimo kääntyy ja sanoo: - Sori kulta, tapaan huomenna gynekologin ja haluan... Det är natt, och mannen kryper närmare hustrun. - Det går inte, jag ska till gynekologen imorgon, säger frun. Han drar tillbaka handen. Men efter en liten stund frågar mannen hoppfullt. - Men du... Killen låg i sängen och trevade efter tjejen, i hopp om att få något. - Nej, inte ikväll sa tjejen. Jag ska till gynekologen imorgon bitti och vill vara någorlunda fräsch. Sedan blev det tyst,... Barbatul:Nevasta, nu ai chef de sex? Nevasta:Nu pot ca maine merg la ginecolog, B: (dupa 5 minute)Da la dentist te duci?? - Min gynekolog sa att jag inte kan ha sex på två veckor. - Jaha, men din tandläkare har väl inte avrådit från sex…
One night, a couple is in the bed and the husband smoothly caresses their wife's arm... the wife is turned and she tells him:
I'm sorry but I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be fresh.
The husband, rejected, turns back to his bed side and tries to sleep...
Some minutes later it turns again and it uncovers her wife again, he whispers to her:
Have you an appointment with the dentist tomorrow too?
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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Dentist Jokes Gynecology Jokes
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