Programmer Jokes

Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.

36 0

A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range.
He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away.
The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit.
They shout to him that he missed completely.
The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off.
He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here!
The problem must be at your end!’

36 0

IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Single People Jokes Boss Jokes

How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.

36 1

IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Funny Riddles Light bulb jokes

Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.

72 0

IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening.
She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends.
The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her.
It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings.
So, she told her parents.
They too saw him and liked him.
They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage.
But wanted her to make the first move.
The next day, she went to him and said, Hi. I'm Jada.
He said, Hi. I'm Smith.
Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett.
The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency.
You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now.
So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it.
I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married.
The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home's WIFI doesn't have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend.

36 0

Religion jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Phone jokes

Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself...

36 0

Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.

74 0

IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
A: Nerdic.

36 0

Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Nerd jokes

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."

36 0

Science jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Hotel Jokes

Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.

71 0

IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes Dating Jokes

Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.

28 0

IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Nerd jokes

What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ?
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!

37 0

IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

37 0

IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..."
The man shook his head.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?"
The man shook his head again angrily.
"Sorry... a worm?"
The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces.
"Go to hеll, you idiот! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"

36 0

Computer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Programmer Jokes Men jokes

I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.

36 0

IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A new army computer is put through its paces.
An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armory?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’
The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’

38 0

Military Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.

38 0

IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.

71 0

IT jokes School Jokes Programmer Jokes

3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.

39 0

Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Nerd jokes

Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.

38 0

IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes