Money jokes

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Тази сутрин беше толкова студено, че дори видях политик с ръце в собствените си джобове. It was so cold today I saw a lawyer with his ... Тия дни навън е толкова студено, Ayer hacía tanto frío que hasta vi a un político con las manos en SUS propios bolsillos... Era un país tan frío, tan frío, tan frío, que los abogados tenían las manos en SUS bolsillos. Spørgsmål: - Er det koldt udenfor? Svar: - Det tror jeg. Jeg så en advokat med hænderne i sine egne lommer! 30 degrees... It was so cold out today that even the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets. En kväll var det SÅ kallt så jag såg en advokat med händerna i sina EGNA fickor. Pernai žiemą buvo taip šalta, kad seimo nariai, buvo pastebėti, rankas laikantys savo nuosavose kišenėse. Do you know how cold the weather was today? It was so cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
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Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy, planned the robbery and went over the plan with the second blonde, Buffie, in great detail. The robbery began. Judy drove up in front of the bank, stopped the car and said to Buffie, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," replied Buffie. Buffie went in the bank while Judy waited in the get away car. One minute passed...three minutes pass...seven minutes pass... and Judy was really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here came Buffie. She had a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car.About the time she got the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he was firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Judy yelled, "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"
Buffie said, "I did. I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiот!" snapped Judy. "You got it all mixed up. I said, 'Tie up the GUARD and вlоw the SAFE!'"
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A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines.
The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport.
There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year.
The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a hаndjов."
The driver declines immediately.
The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing.
When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
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A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer." Ein Pferd kommt in den Saloon und bestellt einen Whiskey. ,"Was bin ich schuldig?",- "Sechs Dollar," sagt der Keeper und schluckt, "Also, ein Pferd habe ich noch nie bedient." ,Da meint der Gaul nur:,"Bei den Preisen wird es auch das letzte Mal gewesen sein!" Gorilin biri bara girmiş.Barmenden bir içki istemiş.Barmen çok şaşırmış tabii,ama belli etmeden gorilin içkisini vermiş..Hesap ödeme zamanı gelince de üç misli fazla söylemiş.Goril ses çıkarmadan... Estaba un cantinero esperando al primer cliente, cuando al cabo de varias horas, entra un caballo, se sienta y pide un trago. El caballo se toma el trago y le pregunta cuánto le debe. El cantinero... En apekatt kommer inn på en bar, legger en 200-lapp på baren og ber om én øl. “Jøss, en snakkende apekatt...”, tenker bartenderen. “Selv om han kan snakke, så er han sikkert ikke så flink til å...
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