Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Food Jokes

The Taco Веll Chihuahua, a Doberman and a bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good-looking female collie comes up to them and says, ''Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me.
'' The Doberman says, ''I love liver and cheese.'' The collie replies, ''That's not good enough.'' The bulldog says, ''I hate liver and cheese.'' She says, ''That's not creative.'' Finally the Chihuahua says, ''Liver alone - cheese mine.''

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!

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IT jokes Technology Jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.

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Dark Humor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Funeral jokes Sick and Death Jokes

I told my friend that my wife and I had a huge argument and she left for the Caribbean.
"Jamaica?" he asked.
"No," I replied, "she went of her own accord."

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One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear !

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: What do you call a соw with two legs?
A: Lean beef.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Boycott Jokes

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.
"Ohhh, it's my girlfriend."
"What's the problem?"
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Money jokes Relationship Jokes Love Jokes

Donald Trump - “I’m not orange!”
“Impeach.”

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Donald Trump Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes American Presidents Humor

A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

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Halloween Jokes Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Holiday Jokes Pirate Jokes

I’m writing a book called ‘Stop Overreacting.’
If no one buys it I’m going to кill myself.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

The seven dwarfs are in the bath, and they all were feeling happy.
Happy climbed out, then they all felt Grumpy.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

I’d had enough. I decided to кill my wife.
But I couldn’t do it myself, and I needed an airtight alibi, so I asked around. I eventually heard of a big guy named Arty who kills people for $1. All you have to do is give him a picture and place of work. I found him, gave him the dollar and a picture of my old battleaxe.
“She works at the Orlando Walmart on Princeton Street,” I said.
He just shook his head, got up, and left. Just like that. I drove to a bar in Clermont Florida so I could establish my alibi. I wasn’t there, of course, but people say he grabbed her by the throat and started choking her. It wasn’t long before a security guard rushed over. Arty was so big he grabbed both of them. One neck per hand. And killed both the security guard and my wife.
It’s hard to believe but it’s true. They even ran a big story about it in the local newspaper:
“Arty chokes 2 for $1 at Walmart.”

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Research shows these are the top US vacation destinations according to occupation:

Artists... Painted Desert, Arizona
Athletes... Olympia Heights, Florida
Candy Makers... Carmel, Indiana
College Professors... University City, Missouri
Ecologists... Green Bay Wisconsin
Firefighters... Smokey Mountains
Geologists... Stone Mountain, Georgia
Gossip Columnists... Grapevine, Texas

Helicopter Pilots... Hoover, Alabama
Home Builders... New Castle, Pennsylvania
Jewelers... Pearl City, Hawaii
Landscapers... Garden City, Michigan
Lawyers... Accident, Maryland
Loan Officers... Fairbanks, Alaska
Lumber Jacks... Thousand Oaks, California
Manicurists... Finger Lakes, New York
Optometrists... Plainview, New York

Pastors... Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Pianists... Florida Keys
Podiatrists... Arches National Park, Utah
Politicians... Dodge City, Kansas
Real Estate Salesmen... Loveland, Colorado
Refrigerator Repairmen... Chilum, Maryland
Retired Army Officers... East Point, Georgia
Sailors... Marina, California
Sheriffs... Marshalltown, Iowa
Tree Trimmers... Long Branch, New Jersey
TV Evangelists... Paradise, California

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Office and Work Jokes Nationality Jokes Political Jokes Lawyer Jokes Aviation Jokes Banker Jokes Military Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes Sailor Jokes Pilot Jokes

Fifty Children’s Books Now At Your Local Library
1-10
You are Different and That’s Bad
Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me
Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’
Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An “I-Can-Do-It” Book:
A Children’s Guide to Hitchhiking
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
All Cats Go to hell
How to Kick Аss At School
11-20
Some Kittens Can Fly
Adoption: A Fresh Start
Grandpa’s new Casket
Fun With Abandoned Refrigerators
Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
Strangers Have the Best Candy
Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
Why You Were An Accident
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21-30
Pop! Goes the Hamster, And Other Great Microwave Games
The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
Nightmares: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
A Child’s Guide to Final Arrangements
Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School
Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31-40
Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet
101 Fun Games To Play In The Road
You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid
Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
Bullies Have More Fun
Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love
Timmy’s The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy
Michael Jackson’s “Fun” Place
Harry Potter and the Sтоnеd Sorcerer
41-50
Why Does Mommy Almost Sneeze So Much in Her Bedroom?
Who’s My Daddy?
Small Objects and Electrical Outlets
Different Daddies Each Day of the Week
Operation and Nomenclature of the Colt 1911 45 ACP
Little Hands, Big Toasters
How To Make A Plastic Bag Space Helmet
Santa Claus And Other Lies Your Parents Told You
Why Don’t We Celebrate Father’s Day Like Other Kids?
Fun With Things Under The Kitchen Sink

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Christmas Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Make My Day Laughs Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes Dad Jokes Internet Jokes Harry Potter Jokes

Did you know Danny Welbeck’s dad was a bomb disposal expert.
His name was Stan Welbeck.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Dad Jokes

What did Mike Tyson's parents say when he told them that he wanted to be a boxer?

"Go ahead, knock yourself out!"

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes