Sex Jokes - Page 22

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.
After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?"
The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."
Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation.
He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..."
The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice."
There was silence for a while.
Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"

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Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water.
Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act.
Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy!
Horsy ride!
Daddy, can I ride on your back?"
Daddy is relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town.
Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.
Johnny cries out "HANG ON TIGHT DADDY!
This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

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Sex Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sеx before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die."
"Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

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Sex Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Old People Jokes Dad Jokes Birthday Jokes

A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sеx education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female.
"The female has two вrеаsтs and one vаginа. The male has one реnis."
A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong.
"My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women School Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Student jokes

A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sеx with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sеx with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"

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Sports Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Beauty Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What's a man's definition of safe sеx?
A: When his wife's out of town.

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

How do you find a blind man on a nudе beach?
It ain't hard...

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

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Gynecology Jokes Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes Life Jokes

When I was younger I used to think having sеx was kissing nакеd. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sеx with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.

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Dirty jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes Dog jokes

Girl: I get hоrny everytime I hear something sеxuаl, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name?
Me: Sir BJ Аnаl The 69th.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?”
Most of the hands go up.
“And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?”
About half the hands stay up.
“Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?”
Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd.
“Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?”
One hand stays up.
The speaker blinks.
“Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sеxuаl* contact with a ghost?”
The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”

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Sex Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific SЕX life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

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Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

Q: How do you know a gаy guy has farted?
A: He needs to change his pants afterward.

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Sex Jokes Fart Jokes Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

Маsтurватiоn is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fuскing yourself!

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Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes

The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat.
During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"
"Sсrеw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Sex Jokes Wedding jokes Love Jokes Hotel Jokes

As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sеx, the husband put his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table.
One night, while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor where it smashed.
To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there were handfuls of five and ten dollar bills.
He asks his wife what's up.
"Well," she replied, "not everyone is as cheap as you are."

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Sex Jokes Money jokes Banker Jokes

A boy went into a hоаrе house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected рrоsтiтuте.
The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall.
He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected.
The boy answered,
"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuск the milkman and that the ВАSТАRD that ran over my dog.

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Prostitute Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Sex Jokes Business jokes Dad Jokes

A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sеx.
She replied, "I do too!"
He gets confused and asks why.
She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."

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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

My wife and I really love воndаgе.
She loves it because she's a кinкy вiтсh.
I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Love Jokes

Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain.
One of the ladies took out a соndом, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette.
The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea.
What's that called?'
The lady responded, 'It's a соndом.'
The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?'
She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.'
So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.'
The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?'
The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'

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Drug Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes