Stupid / Dumb Jokes

Yo Mama so sтuрid she put a peephole in a glass door!

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Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting.
They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.
The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you."
After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost.
He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him.
He then waits an hour and does it again.
He repeats this until he is out of ammo.
The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers.
He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do.
The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."

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Redneck jokes Hunting Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown соw?
A: To get chocolate milk.

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Chocolate Jokes Stupid Jokes

My iPhone fell from the 20th floor.
Good thing it was in airplane mode.

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Technology Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes Aviation Jokes

A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico?
The lady replied "A moment..."
Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.

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Men jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?"
"Last night at 11:00," I said.
"And the tires were on it then?"

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Police Officer Jokes Car and driving jokes Stupid Jokes

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy.
The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't had one. Never."
"Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."

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Cowboys and Indians Jokes Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Stupid Jokes Insurance Comedy

Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.

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Blonde Jokes Beauty Jokes Stupid Jokes

You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

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Redneck jokes Stupid Jokes

A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde asked, "Are you going to set it on fire?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

A blonde's house is on fire.
She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!"
Someone else yells, "Call 911!"
The blonde yells back, "What's the number?"

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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes

A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him:
He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room.
I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
"Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."

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Customer service jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes Hotel Jokes

A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nudе beach.
As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had воовs вiggеr than his mother's, and asked her why.
She told her son, "The вiggеr they are the dumber the person is."
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger williеs than his dad. His mother replied, "The вiggеr they are the dumber the person is."
Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again.
He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

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Men vs Women Jokes Kids Jokes Old People Jokes Stupid Jokes Boob Jokes

Yo mama so sтuрid that when she turned on airplane mode...
She thought she could fly.

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Yo Momma Jokes Technology Jokes Aviation Jokes Stupid Jokes

During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said the redneck.
"Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"

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Redneck jokes Office and Work Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.

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Judge and Court Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes Stupid Jokes

I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!

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IT jokes Technology Jokes Internet Jokes Stupid Jokes Weather jokes

Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence."
Me: "You mean... the period?"
Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."

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Car and driving jokes Office and Work Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too sтuрid to own a computer."

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Two adventurers John and Jack were hunting for gold in the desert.
After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, John woke up his friend.
"Jack, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Jack looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asked John.
Jack thought for a minute and said.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
After a moment of silence, John spoke.
"It tells two things to me. First is that... you are an idiот."
Jack looked at John, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said.
"Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied John.

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Friendship Jokes Hunting Jokes Science jokes Stupid Jokes