Stupid / Dumb Jokes

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C."
Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

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This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too sтuрid to own a computer."

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Yo momma so sтuрid she thought that doctor pepper could heal her.

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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Stupid Jokes

When my customer ordered iced tea, I asked, "Sweetened or unsweetened?"
Her answer: "What's the difference?"

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Customer service jokes Stupid Jokes

Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Math Jokes Stupid Jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.

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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot.
Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened.
Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened.
So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says,
"May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!"
"I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."

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Aviation Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Military Jokes Pilot Jokes

I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Math Jokes Customer service jokes Stupid Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Yo mama's so sтuрid she tried comiting suicide by jumping of a tall building but got lost on the way down.

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Yo Momma Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Stupid Jokes

Yo mama's so dumb that when she saw the "Under 17 not admitted" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.

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Yo Momma Jokes Old People Jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes

Doctor: "You look much worse than you did last week! I said you should smoke a maximum of five cigarettes a day!"
Patient: "And that's what I did. And it wasn't easy because up until now I didn't smoke at all!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

A blonde enters a library.
She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
The librarian says "Ma'am this is library."
So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."

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Blonde Jokes Food Jokes Business jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!

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Student jokes Light bulb jokes Graduation Jokes Stupid Jokes

Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?"
Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks Pritam, puzzled.
"Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."

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Car and driving jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid that when she got on a motorcycle she didn't know how to open the window.

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Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes

Two blondes were talking together:
First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?"
Second: "He isn't just now my engaged."
First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!"
Second: "He is now my husband!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Ugly Jokes

At the gym:
Me: "What does this machine do?"
"Sir, that's a bench."
Me: "Perfect."

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Fitness jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.
After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head.
"How you like it?" asked the barber.
"Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"

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Redneck jokes Beauty Jokes Stupid Jokes Hairdresser Jokes

Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes